Fund Aficionado Gifts

I love all the Mid Cap Funds you've selected except this one...the Dunce Cap Fund.

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

'There's good news and bad news, J. B. - we now control 51% of this corporation's stock!'

A Q&A with President Obama over jobs

"What's a debenture?"

'Actually, accounting is an exact science.'

'Hey, look, I can stand up and shout, too!'

"In the event of an actual S.E.C. investigation, legal representation will drop from the ceiling."

"Biff's old money, Angelo is new money and Boris is funny money."

'My husband is very sensitive. He cries when he sees sunsets, old romantic films, and falling values of his 401(k)'

"You're a fine one to talk about my spending!"

Crony Capitalism (Always Follow the Money Trail)

Is this your idea of a joke, Findlay...?

Stock market investment advice

'For Harland, the only game in town is the bulls versus the bears...'

'Don't tell me how much you love me. Tell me how my stock is going.'

'Mixed news from the federal reserve...interest rates will drop on savings but will go up on loans.'

'There are only three things that matter in this world, son... bottom line...'

'Tommy's doing fine. I'm concerned about your poor fund-raising record. You sold only two magazine subscriptions and one measly candy bar.'

The burden of carrying the Euro.

"The only good news this year, gentlemen, is our massive bonuses."

'They say a fool and his money are soon parted. Here's a list of fools. Make it happen.'

'Check with legal and find out -- maybe we're a non-profit.'

'Dad, I know all about the birds and the bees; explain stock-swaps and derivatives.'

Economy.

"He doesn't fiscally stimulate me anymore."

'The rich get richer, but what do the poor get?'

"It's not enough being a cat anymore. I want to be a fat cat."

'Hi, I'm the ghost of your past, present and future stock portfolio!'

"It seems to be right about this point that our company started going into free fall."

"Getting back into the market can be stressful. I recommend a portfolio of sleep-aids, tranquilizers, and antacids.'

Pulling The Economy Uphill

'Dow, Jones, Russell & Nikkei - Leading economic indicators.'

Occupy Budget Balancing