Funding Aficionados Gifts

'Did he actually win a 'Genius Grant' for his study 'Can money buy happiness'?'

"Biff's old money, Angelo is new money and Boris is funny money."

Is this your idea of a joke, Findlay...?

'Tommy's doing fine. I'm concerned about your poor fund-raising record. You sold only two magazine subscriptions and one measly candy bar.'

'I became successful when my dreams changed from the Cary Grants of the world to federal grants.'

Tongue in the ear...

Lincoln v. Douglas - 2020

Lady in Card Shop sees Sympathy Cards section with 'Bear Market', 'Falling Dollar' and 'Inflation' categories.

"The Duke and Duchess of A.T. & T., the Count and Countess of Citicorp, the Earl of Exxon, and the Marchioness of Avco. The Duke of Warnaco..."

Great moments in science. . . 'Nice work, you've isolated the funding gene.'

"Does he have to do that every time he gets a little grant?"

' Of course I didn't just marry you for your money dear.There was also your house in France,the Rolls Royce,your mother's diamonds...'

Tax Cuts Water the Economy.

Advent Calender.

"Dean Williams, the grant committee approved my research grant to determine how many research grants are a waste of government money!"

Mark Zuckerberg

'If at first you don't succeed, admit failure and ask for a bailout.'

"...I want to find out whether there's any truth in the belief that money can't buy happiness."

He's got 'I'm in grant renewal heaven' all over him.

"The biggest downside of funding IT startups... is being called 'dude'!"

'Agreed, 'Laplace Algebra Matrix Expansion' is a good topic, but we'd better find a better acronym if we want to secure a Research Grant...'

'It's tax avoidance crackdown avoidance.'

'My parents are out bonding at an annuities seminar. Would you like to leave a message?'

Campaign Trail

Doctor sits near work boxes labelled; 'NHS' and 'Private'.

Grants Office Scientific Research Section.

'We're with you half way, sir. We'll return our government bailout if we can keep our executive bonuses.'

"junior, I'll explain 'taxation' to you, if you explain 'crowdfunding' to me."

"I'm starting a Kickstarter campaign to fund a rival to Kickstarter."

Merchant Bankers - Patience is a virtue, anyone displaying it will be dismissed

'With so little being done, we're out to collect money to reduce the deficit...'

If they sentence me, I'll simply pay to refurbish the penitentiary. It will be my own little six star hotel!

Public unions.

Dead Greek Pensions

"Flockfunding"? Whatever happened to building your own @#^* nest?