Funding Fanatic Gifts

'It says, the board HAS agreed to allocate those extra funds you requested.'

Great moments in science. . . 'Nice work, you've isolated the funding gene.'

He's got 'I'm in grant renewal heaven' all over him.

Grants Office Scientific Research Section.

"Does he have to do that every time he gets a little grant?"

'You've got to hand it to Mandelbart -- He got a Nobel Prize for writing grant applications.'

"junior, I'll explain 'taxation' to you, if you explain 'crowdfunding' to me."

'Never mind that it's silly, we've got a four years grant to find out what Sodium Chloride is.'

"Phil's a living legend on this campus. His last grant proposal won a Pulitzer."

Scientific Research: '...First principle of science, Danae...Get the funding secured before you conduct the research.'

"Dean Williams, the grant committee approved my research grant to determine how many research grants are a waste of government money!"

"We're going to have to be very careful deciding which parts of the voluntary sector to fund."

'If at first you don't succeed, admit failure and ask for a bailout.'

"Although I lost the election, I raised a lot more money than my opponent, so if you ever need someone to do your fund-raising..."

"Stock options for your thoughts."

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

Jack of all trades

Profit

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

Today we'll see some misused or misunderstood financial and economic terms. It's said inflation can hurt the economy. But it's absolutely in the tire business. I bought this warm puffy jacket with cash. A down payment. We like beer and coffee. Our most valuable liquid assets. In a monopoly breakup, the race car would to go one person and the dog to another. And when I become either a buyer or a seller. He's shorting the market!

'We're under capitalized. As soon as we reach the break even point we'll buy a lemon.'

"I'm from brokers without borders. Invest in deserted island reits!"

'He's so rich, when he writes a cheque the bank bounces.'

"Your wonderful daughter and I would like to become engaged in F.Y. '97, married in F.Y. '98, and if the numbers look good, start a family in F.Y. '99."

"Son, you're old enough now for The Talk: everything you need to know about compound interest."

'Good news! Our nest egg is developing into a double yoke.'

'Can he call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

Desk plaques: 'Money isn't everything' '...Which makes it no less awesome in my opinion.'

Annual profits,

"#Win!"

It's okay Mom! As a broker, I'm under supervision of the SEC!

"O.K. he's a billionaire, but how much of it is in cash?"

"Okay, money doesn't make you happy. So how about commodity futures?"

'He's downgrading the credit agencies.'

"We need volunteers for the car chasing fundraiser."