Financial Fanatic Gifts

'Oh silly me. Did I put that chart back upside down?'

Night of the Living Debt.

'And this just in from the stock market... buy, sell, buy, sell, buy, sell, buy!'

'We need to schedule an autopsy audit to find out what happened here.'

'Have you ever been tested for 'Mad Dow Disease'?'

"In a perfect world, yes - but you can't claim taxes as a business loss."

"What is it about men who work with their hands?"

"My wife! My broker! What did IBM close at?"

Stock market Bull & Bear financial whirlwind.

Investments - Founders Bear and Bull.

Your receipt, Sir.

'This drug treats 'stock market jitters' but a side effect is 'irrational exuberance'.'

'Please come back in...our shares are dropping fast.'

That's Us

'This is where we go to get away from it all. . . except for Stanley's money.'

A measured response to the budget speech.

'50% of your figures are real, and 50% are made up.'

'Then one day Ralph decided there isn't anything more important than money, and became a day trader.'

"Sorry, but heaven is for humans. What you are looking for is a haven... a tax haven."

The Rise & Fall of Interest Rates by Janet Yellen

'Tech stocks tumbled on news that Alan Greenspan's computer was down.'

"Stock options for your thoughts."

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

Profit

Jack of all trades

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

Today we'll see some misused or misunderstood financial and economic terms. It's said inflation can hurt the economy. But it's absolutely in the tire business. I bought this warm puffy jacket with cash. A down payment. We like beer and coffee. Our most valuable liquid assets. In a monopoly breakup, the race car would to go one person and the dog to another. And when I become either a buyer or a seller. He's shorting the market!

'We're under capitalized. As soon as we reach the break even point we'll buy a lemon.'

"Your wonderful daughter and I would like to become engaged in F.Y. '97, married in F.Y. '98, and if the numbers look good, start a family in F.Y. '99."

'He's so rich, when he writes a cheque the bank bounces.'

"I'm from brokers without borders. Invest in deserted island reits!"

"Son, you're old enough now for The Talk: everything you need to know about compound interest."

'Good news! Our nest egg is developing into a double yoke.'

Annual profits,

"#Win!"