Financial Guru Fanatic Gifts

'Hold on! I thought you were a protege of Warren Buffett, not Jimmy Buffett!'

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

Phrenology bust with sections for different currencies.

"Stock options for your thoughts."

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

Profit

Jack of all trades

'Please remember that these figures could be off as much as two dollars.'

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

Today we'll see some misused or misunderstood financial and economic terms. It's said inflation can hurt the economy. But it's absolutely in the tire business. I bought this warm puffy jacket with cash. A down payment. We like beer and coffee. Our most valuable liquid assets. In a monopoly breakup, the race car would to go one person and the dog to another. And when I become either a buyer or a seller. He's shorting the market!

The president's men

'Can't they just switch to smaller barrels?'

"Helen brings home our second, third and fourth incomes."

'Progress of a bookshelf'

'If he knows so much about stocks and shares, how come he still has to work?'

"Obviously some people here don't appreciate the gravity of our situation."

'We're under capitalized. As soon as we reach the break even point we'll buy a lemon.'

'We're finding out that those 'wrongs' we made 'right' were actually right after all.'

"Your wonderful daughter and I would like to become engaged in F.Y. '97, married in F.Y. '98, and if the numbers look good, start a family in F.Y. '99."

'He's so rich, when he writes a cheque the bank bounces.'

"I'm from brokers without borders. Invest in deserted island reits!"

'If you're so smart, why don't you have some Index Funds in your portfolio?'

"Son, you're old enough now for The Talk: everything you need to know about compound interest."

'Now, keep in mind that these numbers are only as accurate as the fictitious data, ludicrous assumptions and wishful thinking they're based upon!'

'Good news! Our nest egg is developing into a double yoke.'

"The economy always seems to be recovering, but it never recovers."

"Hoskins, try saying 'profits are up' without the finger quotes, okay?"

'Can he call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

'Let's just wait here until the federal stimulus returns.'

Desk plaques: 'Money isn't everything' '...Which makes it no less awesome in my opinion.'

The economy.

"#Win!"

Annual profits,