Funding Fantasist Gifts

'Reading this grant proposal, I conclude that you must have gotten an A in creative writing.'

"We need volunteers for the car chasing fundraiser."

Three businessmen using a pulley system to change a graph

Product Formula - "He's brilliant. But his mind wanders."

Great moments in science. . . 'Nice work, you've isolated the funding gene.'

The nonprofit dog fight.

"Does he have to do that every time he gets a little grant?"

"Tell me the fairytale about the economy."

"The first thing we should do is get you two into a good mutual fund. Let me get out the 'Magic 8 Ball' and we'll fun some options."

"The nonprofit competitive grant season begins

Leonard Nimoy

"Dean Williams, the grant committee approved my research grant to determine how many research grants are a waste of government money!"

'If at first you don't succeed, admit failure and ask for a bailout.'

Updated Proverbs. We come into the world with nothing. And leave deeply in debt!

"...I want to find out whether there's any truth in the belief that money can't buy happiness."

He's got 'I'm in grant renewal heaven' all over him.

"The biggest downside of funding IT startups... is being called 'dude'!"

'Agreed, 'Laplace Algebra Matrix Expansion' is a good topic, but we'd better find a better acronym if we want to secure a Research Grant...'

Collapse of 'Corner Men'

Doctor sits near work boxes labelled; 'NHS' and 'Private'.

Appeals

"The memorabilia auction was a huge flop."

Grants Office Scientific Research Section.

'Evolution may be a good idea, but how will we FUND it?'

"Do me a favor, Harlow. When you greet me, stop saying 'Hello, big spender!'"

"junior, I'll explain 'taxation' to you, if you explain 'crowdfunding' to me."

'Pingree FUNDS, inc'

"So nice of you to offer to display our posters" "I didn't. My pastor made me"

'This next song is about a close call and a near success. It's called The Grant that Got Away.'

"Yes, we're a charity tackling skyrocketing income inequality, but we're also a charity that should be saying 'I love my billionaire finder.'"

"Phil's a living legend on this campus. His last grant proposal won a Pulitzer."

'Oh. Our research grant has finally come through.'

"Would you like to buy some Girl Scout candyyyy - I mean cookies?"

"My third and final wish is for money and wealth—again!"

'We'd love to pay staff more, but there's just no money! But you've got dozens of empty posts, why can't you use the money saved to pay better rates?'