Money Market Enthusiast Gifts

I've repositioned your portfolio to fat-free products....

Phrenology bust with sections for different currencies.

'Now that I have your attention...'

Late Stage Capitalism and the Biosphere Engage in Some Meaningful Dialogue...

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

The day the stock market went UP.

Profit

Large Dollar Sign Office Block

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

"It creates the illusion of risk but you know you're perfectly safe."

'If he knows so much about stocks and shares, how come he still has to work?'

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

"I'm from brokers without borders. Invest in deserted island reits!"

"You may have been the victim of a mis-sold PFI contract."

"We need to reset our fiscal compass to the changing business horizon."

"Is this the best investment strategy you could come up with?"

Gerry, there are more accurate ways of balancing the petty cash.

Business of Fingerpointing Line Art

Investments - remember, you are what you invest in!

'Investment charts can be complicated, son, but that usually means, 'bonuses'.'

"Fantastic presentation! All of the investors loved it."

'Wavering between being bullish or bearish'

Will work for ETFs

"I think I just solved my cash flow problem."

'Gentlemen, we need a slogan!'

Investments - Founders Bear and Bull.

Wall Street Couch

Shop struggles to sell books about recession: '90 per cent off on all credit crunch books' (Titles incluude: Beat the Crunch! Who's to Blame? We're all Doomed!)

"Okay, money doesn't make you happy. So how about commodity futures?"

'Plimbco Bank &Trust, Old Money Division.'

'If only I'd spent as much time on my investment portfolio as I did on my lolly mix when I was a kid.'

Day trading.

'The bad news is it's all our client's money.'