Financial Funnies Fan Prints

"The guy on the next island wants me to float him a loan."

"To remind me of costs, I've replaced every 's' in my shopping list with a dollar sign."

'Now that I have your attention...'

Loan Alley

'All we can do is hope for identity theft.'

Jumping Wall Street.

'Our tabby was pre-approved for a credit card!'

'Credit being what it is, I'm sure you won't mind if we see your 200,000 cattle first...'

"I'd like these invested in an aggressive mutual fund."

"Sure, it may be great for us, but it's hell on the markets."

We only have two things to fear - fear itself and someone getting a look at our books.

Tunnel of Accountants: "You've been selected for a random audit."

'Money, that's what seperates us from the apes.'

'Till debt do us part...'

'My Dad won't let me tell what I did on my summer vacation...he doesn't want anyone to know where he set up his offshore bank accounts.'

Black hole-in-the-wall at Jodrell Bank

Dog Beginning For A Loan

'our chances seemed pretty good until you lighted that 20.'

'I've heard of cooking the books... but how did you rotisserie them and why?'

'Well, son... I've made my first million by selling my unpaid bills to the paper-recycling guy!'

Department of Unrealistic Dividend Earnings: 'We realize it is an unnecessary department but the acronym was just too cool to shut it down.'

'You won't feel a thing. We make a small incision in your wallet and...'

'Talk about paranoid. He reads the fine print on his money.'

"We've made such good progress with your stress management levels, that I feel able to risk a small setback."

'Can I help? You bet your bottom dollar I can.'

Credit card campaign ad

"For someone your age, the yearly premium on a $5,000 policy is $8,000."

'There's been a big bank merger, sir, so you now have a joint checking account with a Mr. Slavomir Bezparyadok of Zagreb.'

'You thought I'd gone out of business? What gave you that idea?'

'I'm going to refer you to a doctor. You seem to have developed immunity to winning stocks.'

"We're going to sacrifice you to the gods, son, because it's so much cheaper than college."