Financially Funny Gifts

'We've decided to stay together for the sake of Ken's pension.'

Dog Beginning For A Loan

'Does my overdraft look big in this?'

Coudl I go to jail for something I didn't do? I didn't pay my income tax!

'Of course I have my soft side. I carry photos of my loved ones in my wallet. This one is of my accountant.'

'Now that I have your attention...'

British savings accounts

'The check is in the email attachment.'

"I keep feeling we should float the company"

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

Entering the Business Community: Assets/Liabilities

"The Capt'n maintains a balanced portfolio should include a number of off-shore accounts."

"I'd like to thank my parents and my creditors for making this possible."

Loan Alley

America's Funniest Interest Rate Hikes

"Why yes, there was an extra five thousand dollars in my pay check last week...er...I thought it was a raise."

'On the plus side we've saved money by getting all the numbers on one graph.'

'All we can do is hope for identity theft.'

Our Motto: Buy Low Sell High is the Best Revenge.'

"Might you explain to me how your division managed to spend twenty-six thousand dollars on tennis balls?"

Money Bar.

'The reason I like this guy's stock picks is, he's not burdened by having any experience in finance whatsoever.'

'The bank says they're freezing my assets! I don't understand: They've always been frozen...'

"When the company announced that they're gonna move our retirement accounts down to Mexico, I was like '401 Que Pasa?'"

"Call security, Miss Rightman. I have an overwhelming urge to throw good money after bad"

"You have to declare what you rob from the rich, but you can deduct what you give to the poor."

'How to time the market' seminar - 2pm, postponed to 3pm, then to 4pm.

'This is our golden anniversary. Let's invest in gold.'

"Oh I have plenty of sex appeal. It's all here in my bank baalance."

Jumping Wall Street.

Bingo! Credit card number!! The real reason raccoons like garbage.

But under a different accounting convention ...

"True, a salary cap on Wall Street may limit the talent pool, but, on the other hand, if they get any more talented we'll all be broke."

'You've been pre-approved for another credit card.'

'Instead of jail time, our head of finance chose the stock option.'