Finance Fooler Gifts

'Do you think that will fool the repo man?'

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

British savings accounts

Great Chinese Dynasties

'You're close, Spencer, but usually a business plan is a little more involved!'

'Recent studies in primate colonies suggest that organizational performance can be improved by replacing complicated financial incentives with bananas.'

"The new revenue stream is finally kicking in."

What happens when the bears are running the market.

'In order to fund your deferred compensation, we won't be paying you any salary.'

"Post holiday sales look similar to the crater that killed the dinosaurs."

'Don't worry about a few pounds up or down. Our main concern is always your bottom line.'

Cafe investors: I'd like your support in acquiring the lemonade stand down the street. By cutting redundant labor, marketing and technology. I place our annual savings at $17 billion. The phone company investors bought it. Can monkey lick your head?

'Well, maybe upteen zillion was too general a cost estimate.'

'And finally, a steady decline in earnings has forced us to trim the presentations budget.'

'It takes great courage of conviction to know you're wrong, yet still proceed forward.'

'I love it when you say - 'I'm going to print money'.'

'Oh, wait. There's a note. It says; Fill her up with euros.'

Propping up a profits chart.

"No, unfortunately I won't be raising your debt ceiling."

The End of Trump?

Wall Street Money Never Sleeps. They've obviously never seen my investment portfolio.

'Well, Eddy may look a bit rough, but he's good at heart - last week, he bought stocks from a company which produces cuddly puppy toys in pink ballet dresses!'

"Dad, the dean has gone over your financial statement, and he doesn't think you're working up to your full potential."

'Looks like your recovery has been slowed by a diet rich in Greece, followed by a bout of gas problems. Continue to take your QE and call me next quarter.'

10 Days Without an Interest Rate Change

Uncle Sam is Big Brother.

'Stocks fell on the news that whatever can go wrong, usually does go wrong.'

'The National Debt just sounds like it's a lot of money because it's such a large number.'

'Two new NBA franchises: The 'Wall Street Bulls' and the 'Main street bears'.'

'Don't panic, folks! It's red ink, not blood!

"Goodbye cruel world."

"This place has a water view if you're looking at the mortgage."

'Can Mr. Sloan call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

Guess your net worth, only 25 cents.

"Times are perfect for us masochists!..."