Financial Feeler Gifts

"I'm not sure which hurts more - unrequited love or unrequited money."

'You're close, Spencer, but usually a business plan is a little more involved!'

'Recent studies in primate colonies suggest that organizational performance can be improved by replacing complicated financial incentives with bananas.'

'Well, maybe upteen zillion was too general a cost estimate.'

'I love it when you say - 'I'm going to print money'.'

10 Days Without an Interest Rate Change

'I've been a broker for almost three days and I've never seen the market act like this.'

Fan-Centric Stadium

'Don't panic, folks! It's red ink, not blood!

'Can Mr. Sloan call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

"Goodbye cruel world."

"This place has a water view if you're looking at the mortgage."

"Times are perfect for us masochists!..."

Ten business commandments, city trading floor

'That's much better.'

'Please excuse my nurse -- this is her first day on the job.'

Investments: Still Open to New Investors - 'A fool & his money fund.'

What's 'Bitcoin'?

"He put the 'fun' in funding."

'I wonder if I can declare you as dependents on my income taxes?'

"I hate it when he makes snow angels in his bonus."

"By now, you've probably noticed that around here, money talks and you-know-what walks!"

Ukraine War Clouds

"All in favor of a cap on our liability?"

'Im going to invest all your pension money in cat nip!'

Is this money for booze?

"Our firm doesn't have any money problems to speak of. Just lack of money problems."

Student Loan Shark

"We've isolated your disease, Mrs. Grosenik. We can proceed as soon as we isolate your checkbook."

OK, we do the annual report as a graphic novel, but only if I don't have to read it.'

"Medical science hasn't come up with a pill specifically for 'stock market jitters."

"There's more to being a pensions adviser than just handling the figures..."

'My dad showed me how to make awesome paper airplanes out of corporate bonds.'