Finance Fretter Gifts

"You think the rash and fever is bad? Wait til you see this bill!"

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

British savings accounts

Airline Debts: Layoffs to help us stay afloat.

'I am willing to concede that the company has been underperforming of late...'

'You're close, Spencer, but usually a business plan is a little more involved!'

'Recent studies in primate colonies suggest that organizational performance can be improved by replacing complicated financial incentives with bananas.'

"The new revenue stream is finally kicking in."

Piggy bank #5: carrying (colour).

What happens when the bears are running the market.

'In order to fund your deferred compensation, we won't be paying you any salary.'

'Don't worry about a few pounds up or down. Our main concern is always your bottom line.'

Cafe investors: I'd like your support in acquiring the lemonade stand down the street. By cutting redundant labor, marketing and technology. I place our annual savings at $17 billion. The phone company investors bought it. Can monkey lick your head?

'Well, maybe upteen zillion was too general a cost estimate.'

'And finally, a steady decline in earnings has forced us to trim the presentations budget.'

Delivering red ink to the Berueu of Management and Budget.

'I love it when you say - 'I'm going to print money'.'

'Oh, wait. There's a note. It says; Fill her up with euros.'

'It takes great courage of conviction to know you're wrong, yet still proceed forward.'

'Well, Eddy may look a bit rough, but he's good at heart - last week, he bought stocks from a company which produces cuddly puppy toys in pink ballet dresses!'

Wall Street Money Never Sleeps. They've obviously never seen my investment portfolio.

"Dad, the dean has gone over your financial statement, and he doesn't think you're working up to your full potential."

'Looks like your recovery has been slowed by a diet rich in Greece, followed by a bout of gas problems. Continue to take your QE and call me next quarter.'

10 Days Without an Interest Rate Change

"We probably need to rethink our revenue strategy for the practice."

Uncle Sam is Big Brother.

MD - Cosmetic Surgery and Investment Portfolio Makeovers.

'Stocks fell on the news that whatever can go wrong, usually does go wrong.'

"Goodbye cruel world."

'Can Mr. Sloan call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

"Times are perfect for us masochists!..."

"This place has a water view if you're looking at the mortgage."

'Don't panic, folks! It's red ink, not blood!

Guess your net worth, only 25 cents.

"Post-holiday dieting will be much easier this year. Our disposable cash flow will be diverted."