Financial Funsters Gifts

"Here are the earnings projections. You said you enjoy reading fantasy, right?"

IRS, 'Try to be a little more prompt with your return next year, sir -- We almost ran out of welfare money!'

'With the bank in our store, we'll know instantly whether your check will bounce.'

'Four dollars and thirty-two cents? — That's your idea of a deposit?'

'My advice? Invest in 'rRising Star' in the first race at Belmont. But what do I know? I'm just the boss' bookie.'

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

British savings accounts

'You're close, Spencer, but usually a business plan is a little more involved!'

'Recent studies in primate colonies suggest that organizational performance can be improved by replacing complicated financial incentives with bananas.'

"Unfortunately Daddy already owes the government about 500,000 Pokemon cards."

"The new revenue stream is finally kicking in."

What happens when the bears are running the market.

'In order to fund your deferred compensation, we won't be paying you any salary.'

'Don't worry about a few pounds up or down. Our main concern is always your bottom line.'

'And finally, a steady decline in earnings has forced us to trim the presentations budget.'

'It takes great courage of conviction to know you're wrong, yet still proceed forward.'

'I love it when you say - 'I'm going to print money'.'

'Oh, wait. There's a note. It says; Fill her up with euros.'

'Well, Eddy may look a bit rough, but he's good at heart - last week, he bought stocks from a company which produces cuddly puppy toys in pink ballet dresses!'

"Dad, the dean has gone over your financial statement, and he doesn't think you're working up to your full potential."

'Looks like your recovery has been slowed by a diet rich in Greece, followed by a bout of gas problems. Continue to take your QE and call me next quarter.'

10 Days Without an Interest Rate Change

"Let's vote. All those in favour of flying to Switzerland, withdrawing our secret bank account and splitting?"

Uncle Sam is Big Brother.

'Stocks fell on the news that whatever can go wrong, usually does go wrong.'

Guess your net worth, only 25 cents.

"Goodbye cruel world."

"Times are perfect for us masochists!..."

"This place has a water view if you're looking at the mortgage."

'Don't panic, folks! It's red ink, not blood!

'The increased child tax credit is supposed to stimulate the economy...so how about a raise in my allowance?'

Ten business commandments, city trading floor

'That's much better.'

People often have us confused with investment bankers. We loot and plunder, leaving a mess wherever we go, and when there are complaints we claim endangered species status.

'The Nobel prize for medicine was awarded to Dr. Quentin R. Owlsey, who developed an anesthetic that leaves patients capable of writing checks.'