Financial Finesser Gifts

'According to my analysis, the Theoretical Maths Department should be able to survive if we can budget for paper and pencils...'

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

British savings accounts

Large Dollar Sign Office Block

Great Chinese Dynasties

Airline Debts: Layoffs to help us stay afloat.

'I am willing to concede that the company has been underperforming of late...'

'You're close, Spencer, but usually a business plan is a little more involved!'

'Recent studies in primate colonies suggest that organizational performance can be improved by replacing complicated financial incentives with bananas.'

"This statement from your headmaster says that you can easily get a good degree...your bank manager says you can't."

'That's what I thought, finances are tight: She's switched to no-name cat food...'

"The new revenue stream is finally kicking in."

What happens when the bears are running the market.

'In order to fund your deferred compensation, we won't be paying you any salary.'

'Don't worry about a few pounds up or down. Our main concern is always your bottom line.'

Cafe investors: I'd like your support in acquiring the lemonade stand down the street. By cutting redundant labor, marketing and technology. I place our annual savings at $17 billion. The phone company investors bought it. Can monkey lick your head?

'And finally, a steady decline in earnings has forced us to trim the presentations budget.'

Delivering red ink to the Berueu of Management and Budget.

"I hate check writing, but, hey, it pays the bills."

'Oh, wait. There's a note. It says; Fill her up with euros.'

'I love it when you say - 'I'm going to print money'.'

'It takes great courage of conviction to know you're wrong, yet still proceed forward.'

'Mr. 'You can't be too over-weighted in tech stocks', meet Mr. 'You can't be too over-weighted in bio-tech'.'

"We are here to remove a blockage in your bank account."

"Don't knock Florida! Where else can a 73-year old man get a 35-year mortgage?"

'Well, Eddy may look a bit rough, but he's good at heart - last week, he bought stocks from a company which produces cuddly puppy toys in pink ballet dresses!'

Building a better America - Financing by The Bank of China.

Wall Street Money Never Sleeps. They've obviously never seen my investment portfolio.

"My wife and I handle our own finances. I'm an accountant and she's a grief counselor."

"Dad, the dean has gone over your financial statement, and he doesn't think you're working up to your full potential."

'The only way to survive these days is to diversify.'

'Looks like your recovery has been slowed by a diet rich in Greece, followed by a bout of gas problems. Continue to take your QE and call me next quarter.'

10 Days Without an Interest Rate Change

"We probably need to rethink our revenue strategy for the practice."

'Stocks fell on the news that whatever can go wrong, usually does go wrong.'