Financial Fool Gifts

Spent my last dollar on this sign.

Investments - Founders Bear and Bull.

Stock market Bull & Bear financial whirlwind.

'This is where we go to get away from it all. . . except for Stanley's money.'

'Look on the bright side; you got out of that stock before it became...unstable.'

'Risky, but I like it!'

"I don't consider a missing four million dollars to be 'monkeyshines'."

'And this just in from the stock market... buy, sell, buy, sell, buy, sell, buy!'

Benefit mistakes cost one billion a year. Well in our defence we did get a lot of the numbers correct,they just weren't in the right order.

Dog Beginning For A Loan

"Yes, we're a letterbox company. How can I help you?"

'Then one day Ralph decided there isn't anything more important than money, and became a day trader.'

"Stocks go up, stock go down. That's why I jump with a bungee cord."

Mono-Tasking, Multi-Tasking, No-No Tasking and Nada Tasking.

"I'm in here...reallocating Dad's retirement account into junk bonds."

"This is what we recommend for motion sickness, due to the stockmarket's rollercoaster ride."

'We need to schedule an autopsy audit to find out what happened here.'

'Tech stocks tumbled on news that Alan Greenspan's computer was down.'

I spent it all under the silly notion that it was all mine.

Sign on door of company cafeteria of financial services company says: 'Do not feed the bears'.

"I'd get out of the volatile, capricious, irritating stock market. . . but I might miss out on further gains."

'I need you to reassure the investors. Can you keep a straight face?'

'He writes one great work of fiction every year...his tax return.'

Investment Firm's sign, 'No guts, no glory'.

'I'm trading futures in green sheets.'

Conrad Black will be unable to do his investment club's tax returns this year.

A measured response to the budget speech.

"I sleep poorly anyway, so you might as well put me in high-risk investments."

Invested pot of gold in the stock market.

A businessman balancing on a unicycle that has a coin as a wheel, on the line of a graph of falling financial performance.

'The bank want to be sure that I don't vanish and forget the loan repayment...'

Attack of the Investment Zombie

Coudl I go to jail for something I didn't do? I didn't pay my income tax!

"In a perfect world, yes - but you can't claim taxes as a business loss."

Impulse Investors Welcomed.