Financial Fraud Enthusiast Gifts

"Yes, we're a letterbox company. How can I help you?"

Investments - Founders Bear and Bull.

Stock market Bull & Bear financial whirlwind.

'This is where we go to get away from it all. . . except for Stanley's money.'

'Why do you want a career in the bank?'

"Did you hear that that bastard McMinney has buggered of to work for Bank of America!"

'Would you do me the honour of becoming tax advantaged with me?'

'Now that we've moved to Hawaii, I can start trading at 3:30 a.m.--Isn't that great?'

"I don't consider a missing four million dollars to be 'monkeyshines'."

'I can't believe an Alligator stole my identity... I mean, it's quite obvious I'm a Crocodile!'

Woman uses an ATM with buttons for: Grocery, Leverage Buyout, Start Up Capital, Shop Till You Drop.

'And this just in from the stock market... buy, sell, buy, sell, buy, sell, buy!'

"Nothing is illegal if a hundred businessmen decide to do it."

I'll put this in a way you'll understand: you need to transfer your feelings from savings to checking.

'Instead of jail time, our head of finance chose the stock option.'

'Then one day Ralph decided there isn't anything more important than money, and became a day trader.'

The Bullish World

Mono-Tasking, Multi-Tasking, No-No Tasking and Nada Tasking.

'We need to schedule an autopsy audit to find out what happened here.'

'How can we be so sure it's a fake, gentlemen - she isn't smiling!'

'Tech stocks tumbled on news that Alan Greenspan's computer was down.'

Man with a Plan

'I need you to reassure the investors. Can you keep a straight face?'

"junior, I'll explain 'taxation' to you, if you explain 'crowdfunding' to me."

'Your in great shape...'

What's a CEO's motivation?

'Yeah. It was a good day.'

Conrad Black will be unable to do his investment club's tax returns this year.

A measured response to the budget speech.

"You can afford to retire at 65, but you'll need to die at 70."

"I take it your credit score has gone up?"

'The acting was awful and the plot was thin, but the mortgage rate looked interesting.'

Business Greed.

'Get Rich' Stock Brokers and 'Get Even' Attorney-at-law.

"This automated stock trading app can halt rallies or downturns, depending on your market strategy."