Financial Faux Pas Aficionado Gifts

'What do you want the money for?'

'Actually, accounting is an exact science.'

Two women wearing identical dresses head toward exchange window at department store.

"I tell you, I don't like the looks of it."

"I don't consider a missing four million dollars to be 'monkeyshines'."

'As you can clearly see in this Pie Chart...something is eating into our profit margins!'

'He'll love this cologne. It has the scent of an undervalued stock.'

Greenspanisms for sale (50c)

'Today, the market did the 'Ol' Dipsy, but recovered in the 'Doodle'.'

'The financial crisis is unlikely to worry me: I lay a new Golden Egg every day...'

A few Halloween costume ideas.

"The people who were running the economy last year... are running the economy this year."

"To mom, apple pie, and foreign investors who keep our economy humming."

"The markets seem to be a little jittery this morning."

Clever pitbulls.

Wall Street: Panic, don't panic

"Yes, we're a letterbox company. How can I help you?"

"We can't all work for Goldman Sachs."

"We've lowered our IPO price so many times, the Street's referring to it as an Initial Pathetic Offer."

'I have an expense account, but it's a joke.'

'You're addicted to big bonuses. But the good news is there's a patch to treat that.'

'The stock market rose sharply today, and the police are baffled.'

"Gold ended the day on a new high, while frankincense and myrrh both opened well but faded as the markets closed."

'Then the king rewrote the tax code so everyone could understand it, and all the CPAs went out of business.'

"It's an important interview, so you probably shouldn't wear a necktie that contains more material than your suit."

"Speculators found it was a bear market so they decided to hibernate."

"Even my childhood dreams were of tax cuts."

'Your check to 'Hooters' bounced, ironically enought.'

Starboard-folio.

Bank Checking Accounts. Yes, deposits are guaranteed, sir --- but withdrawals aren't.

"You never express your emotions. You're very blank."

'George has us well diversified. We own every stock in the Misfortune 500.'

"We like your determination to develope a new investment strategy."

Conrad Black will be unable to do his investment club's tax returns this year.

"What happens on Wall Street, stays on Wall Street."