Business Blunders Aficionado Gifts

"Hi everyone, and welcome to this TED talk on how not to run a business. . ."

"I've just never worked anyplace where the 'alpha male' was a woman."

"Damnit, executive-trainees don't have 'accidents'."

'Now this is exactly what I was referring to when I talked about 'scope creep'.'

Big Shot/Bigger Shot.

"Actually, I used them as collateral for a loan."

'Thanks to our exensive cost-cutting efforts, we managed to turn a profit.'

"I may need you to take the fall for the Swanson mess. So, goeth with pride."

"Quicksand in a modern office building? Don't be silly."

"I don't consider a missing four million dollars to be 'monkeyshines'."

Businessman has Sterling Sign Shaved in Head.

Welcome to Yellow Pages, Vermont

"You're an overweight, overpaid, over-the-hill senior executive, Dalrymple. What did you have in mind to remedy that situation?"

"Can you keep a secret, Fred? The truth is, I've never had a clue what curve it is I'm supposed to stay ahead of!"

'What do you mean by, your people do not want to get in touch with my 'kind' of people?'

Making The World A Better Place for Giant Multinational Corporations

'Congratulations, gentlemen! Sales have held steady for another quarter.'

"Dear, it's the financial news. Seat belts fastened, seat backs in upright position."

"|For some reason, the boss is obsessed with my screen."

'G'morning, I'm the small business advisor.'

"Let's talk more about your valuation policy."

'What the hell is a win-win situation?'

'Turn up the air conditioning. Panting always puts us at a disadvantage during negotiations.'

"The take over has been completed... they are now working on the sell out."

"Just give us the numbers... and don't sugar-coat it."

'I just faxed my tie to our Des Moines office.'

"It's our shareholders... They've lost that lovin' feeling."

"You've been with us a long time, Winnie, and we're prepared to offer you a generous severance package."

'Reinvent yourself. You write off the whole thing as a business expense!'

Before The Merger.

'Most loyal employee in my department.'

"Oh, sorry. Wrong workshop."

"How dare you accuse me of running this company into the ground!"

"Of course failure is an option; I use it all the time!"

Conrad Black will be unable to do his investment club's tax returns this year.