Business Blunders Aficionado Gifts

"Hi everyone, and welcome to this TED talk on how not to run a business. . ."

"I've just never worked anyplace where the 'alpha male' was a woman."

"Damnit, executive-trainees don't have 'accidents'."

'Now this is exactly what I was referring to when I talked about 'scope creep'.'

Big Shot/Bigger Shot.

"Actually, I used them as collateral for a loan."

'Thanks to our exensive cost-cutting efforts, we managed to turn a profit.'

"I don't consider a missing four million dollars to be 'monkeyshines'."

"Quicksand in a modern office building? Don't be silly."

"I may need you to take the fall for the Swanson mess. So, goeth with pride."

Businessman has Sterling Sign Shaved in Head.

Welcome to Yellow Pages, Vermont

"You're an overweight, overpaid, over-the-hill senior executive, Dalrymple. What did you have in mind to remedy that situation?"

"Can you keep a secret, Fred? The truth is, I've never had a clue what curve it is I'm supposed to stay ahead of!"

'What do you mean by, your people do not want to get in touch with my 'kind' of people?'

Making The World A Better Place for Giant Multinational Corporations

'Congratulations, gentlemen! Sales have held steady for another quarter.'

"Dear, it's the financial news. Seat belts fastened, seat backs in upright position."

"|For some reason, the boss is obsessed with my screen."

'G'morning, I'm the small business advisor.'

'What the hell is a win-win situation?'

"Let's talk more about your valuation policy."

'Turn up the air conditioning. Panting always puts us at a disadvantage during negotiations.'

'I just faxed my tie to our Des Moines office.'

"Just give us the numbers... and don't sugar-coat it."

"The take over has been completed... they are now working on the sell out."

"It's our shareholders... They've lost that lovin' feeling."

"You've been with us a long time, Winnie, and we're prepared to offer you a generous severance package."

'Reinvent yourself. You write off the whole thing as a business expense!'

Before The Merger.

"Of course failure is an option; I use it all the time!"

"Oh, sorry. Wrong workshop."

"How dare you accuse me of running this company into the ground!"

'Most loyal employee in my department.'

'Your check to 'Hooters' bounced, ironically enought.'