The Business Blunderer Gifts

"...and who might you ask was responsible for this mistake?"

"Actually, I used them as collateral for a loan."

"As you can see, our corporate structure is turtles all the way down."

'We need a product line that will stimulate our profit line.'

'I burned my fingers by touching the hot breakfast eggs, but next time, I'll peel them before I put them into boiling water!'

Lord Avariss - Captain of Industry

I have decided that all future board meetings will be held before lunch.

"Why didn't we think of that?"

'Will you stick to the script!!!'

"Guess who's going to be on national television apologizing to the American public."

'I seem to have brought the wrong brief case, your honor.'

A single man has the job title of CEO, Business Manager, HR, Undermanager, Head of Division, Personnel. . .

"'Kchow! Kchow! The roscoe spoke twice, and Mike dodged behind a-' Hang on, wrong book."

'Poor slob - he not only is about to be crushed to death - he's also left the lens cap on.'

One Man Band

"Blackmail has given me a confidence I've never felt before."

"Retirement will be a pipe dream for many of us...we need to explore new careers for later life."

"Sorry, Hogg is no longer with the firm."

'I can't make coffee, but I can keyboard, file, take shorthand and answer the phones like a champ!'

"Maybe nobody goes to your Web site because it's about you."

'I need another raise so I can pay for the car that I bought to celebrate my last raise.'

"For the last time, Bellows, it's stomp stomp clap, we will, we will rock. Now, from the top..."

'I put money in the stock market and now I don't have any to put in the supermarket.'

'Gentlemen, this deal offers some spectacular opportunities for us to miss, and miss them we shall.'

"You got the plans upside down. . .This should be a well."

'With a one-man business, it's murder being a manic depressive.'

Businessman of the Year Awards.

"Hi everyone, and welcome to this TED talk on how not to run a business. . ."

'...and there's also the small matter of the call-out fee'

Recipe for Disaster Muffins.

"Not another step into this house mister, until you empty the sand from your shoes!"

"We've exhausted the niche markets. How about we go for the lunatic fringe?"