Financial Faux Pas Collector Gifts

'George has us well diversified. We own every stock in the Misfortune 500.'

Two women wearing identical dresses head toward exchange window at department store.

"I don't consider a missing four million dollars to be 'monkeyshines'."

The Bland Leading the Bland

"Yes, we're a letterbox company. How can I help you?"

Mono-Tasking, Multi-Tasking, No-No Tasking and Nada Tasking.

"I had money problems- forged fivers the wrong colour!"

"Mmm..I haven't worn this tie since the firms 1997 dinner and dance..."

'I need you to reassure the investors. Can you keep a straight face?'

Conrad Black will be unable to do his investment club's tax returns this year.

"You have it backwards. When you're having an online meeting, you're supposed to look good from the waist up."

"You might consider new socks as well."

"It's an important interview, so you probably shouldn't wear a necktie that contains more material than your suit."

'Bob, you're suffering from embarrassing static cling.'

"The Bank has returned the rent cheque marked 'Insufficient funds', but it doesn't say whether that's them or us!"

"It's not a cummerbund. It's my underpants."

'What do you mean, I don't match? Everything I'm wearing is wrinkled.'

"I know, but my mom knitted it for me."

'I would've dressed better, but my tie was dirty.'

Embarrassed man finds a skimpy dress in his suitcase.

"Dad."

Cargo briefs

'You are a fool...I said 'Why don't you wear a BANDANA!'

"That's not 'smart casual'."

'Well he said my outfit clashed, and dang if it didn't get me sorta hot. Although in retrospect, I can see what he meant.'

'Oh, so when you said wear a...Ok, now I get it.'

"You wear a necktie with a suit jacket and white socks with brown shoes?? The guy who shot you did it absolutely right!"

'The insider traders always sit together.'

'Today stocks tumbled on the rumor that there is no Santa Claus.'

"For the hundredth time, you snip a lose thread you don't pull it."

"It's a 38 suit I wear."

And today's winner of a special place in Hell is...Guys who wear bikini style bathing suits to the beach...

"May I be frank as to why we're reluctant to add you to our sales force, Mr. Ponzi?"

'Apparently the car pool has a dress code I was not aware of and so now I have to take the bus like some idiot.'