Funeral Faux Pas Collector Gifts

"Baldo, are you ready? The funeral starts in 30 minutes!"

The Bland Leading the Bland

"Could you spare a few minutes to give some feedback on your death experience?"

"Mmm..I haven't worn this tie since the firms 1997 dinner and dance..."

"You have it backwards. When you're having an online meeting, you're supposed to look good from the waist up."

"You might consider new socks as well."

At the funeral of the amazing Voltar.

Crash Test Dummy Funerals.

"His last wish was that we delete his browsing history."

'George has us well diversified. We own every stock in the Misfortune 500.'

'Bob, you're suffering from embarrassing static cling.'

"It's not a cummerbund. It's my underpants."

'What do you mean, I don't match? Everything I'm wearing is wrinkled.'

'I would've dressed better, but my tie was dirty.'

'I told you that something was wrong with your cousin Wilbur.'

Coffin of clown on stilts is carried at funeral.

"I know, but my mom knitted it for me."

Joe's Weight Gain: 'Dang it! My pants must've shrunk in the dryer. . . Ok. . . who's responsible for shrinking all of my slacks?!!'

'You're sure that's one of the stages of grief?'

'This sucks. Let's try and start the wave.'

The four hearsemen with the Alpaca lips.

Gravedigger

"Never lend money to anyone over 90."

'Benny wanted a closed casket service...but, since you traveled so far to be here...I can give you a quick peek for ten dollars.'

"We gather here today in memory of Chuckles, Kornflake, Doodles, Yo-Yo, Cupcake...."

'While we didn't see Bill Brewster here in his lifetime, it's good to see him here in death. Uh, let me rephrase that.'

Embarrassed man finds a skimpy dress in his suitcase.

At Salvador Dali's funeral,

'- and how does the graveyard shift appeal to you?'

"You wear a necktie with a suit jacket and white socks with brown shoes?? The guy who shot you did it absolutely right!"

'Well he said my outfit clashed, and dang if it didn't get me sorta hot. Although in retrospect, I can see what he meant.'

'I know he didn't pay his bills, but let's get the lien off the coffin.'

'First, let me emphasize that the open casket was his idea.'

"We also have urns, if you want to think outside the box."

And today's winner of a special place in Hell is...Guys who wear bikini style bathing suits to the beach...