Quirky Funeral Participant Gifts

Coffin of clown on stilts is carried at funeral.

"He intends to die with dignity, he desires a modest funeral, and he's determined to prevent the buzzards from getting any part of the estate."

"Hope you don't mind—it was his last request."

'He always said he wouldn't be seen dead with his shirt outside his trousers - he'll be livid.'

'She was always very proud of her figure.'

At the funeral of the amazing Voltar.

Geez, this is gonna take forever! Turtle Funerals.

Frank Loved Bubblewrap

Crash Test Dummy Funerals.

"His last wish was that we delete his browsing history."

"We will now observe a moment of silently checking our BlackBerrys."

"Norm, the piano tuna is here!"

"He was an amazing ventriloquist. Nobody knew just how amazing until now."

'Why is he always hanging around?'

'You're sure that's one of the stages of grief?'

'This sucks. Let's try and start the wave.'

'He had bad breath, but I suppose that was better than no breath at all.'

The four hearsemen with the Alpaca lips.

Snake funerals.

Gravedigger

At Salvador Dali's funeral,

"This is our basic flush but I think your loved one would appreciate a more substantial flush."

"We were out of embalming fluid so we stuffed your wife with wild rice."

"Never lend money to anyone over 90."

'While we didn't see Bill Brewster here in his lifetime, it's good to see him here in death. Uh, let me rephrase that.'

'Benny wanted a closed casket service...but, since you traveled so far to be here...I can give you a quick peek for ten dollars.'

"We gather here today in memory of Chuckles, Kornflake, Doodles, Yo-Yo, Cupcake...."

'First, let me emphasize that the open casket was his idea.'

"I considered putting his ashes in an urn, but Bob would have wanted it this way."

'Some people couldn't make it today, but they've sent a few tweets...'

"Sir, did the piano die?"

'It was his last request. He was a track star in college.'

"This is your first burial at sea, isn't it!"

Undertaker awards.

"I'm actually relieved... his constant 'glass half full, silver lining, isn't life beautiful, rah-rah-sis-boom-bah' cheery optimism was really getting on my nerves."