Funeral Humor Enthusiast Gifts

'You're sure that's one of the stages of grief?'

'This sucks. Let's try and start the wave.'

'First, let me emphasize that the open casket was his idea.'

I was at his side when he passed away. But if the cops ask, say I was with you.

"It was his favorite app."

"His last wish was that we delete his browsing history."

Sorry, but he specifically called "shotgun" in his will.

"Never lend money to anyone over 90."

"We now pause for a moment of talking."

"Sir, did the piano die?"

"No unfortunately he's alive and well, I'm just practising with self raising flour."

"Who'd have thought old Harry would turn out to be a vampire?"

'He wanted to be remembered this way.'

"Hope you don't mind—it was his last request."

The game comes first...

'He always said he wouldn't be seen dead with his shirt outside his trousers - he'll be livid.'

Dead Man's Handel

I told myself I wasn't going to cry at his funeral

"Perfect! By the way, I'm a huge fan of your movies!"

"As always he found a way to duck out of working overtime!"

A signaller directing pallbearers

"Dearly beloved - We gather today to honor the life of the greatest magician of our time."

'He was a shooting star, passing through the firmament. Lighting up our dull lives with his all too brief presence.' 'I think we're at the wrong funeral.'

"Well he was there a minute ago!"

Priest gives the last rites to an expired metre.

"He was right about saving that box. It did come in handy."

No caption. (Mimes carry an invisible casket from a hearse).

Fisherman Funneral

"I think it's important to remember that he isn't gone forever. He's still alive. He just played a character on TV who died."

Geez, this is gonna take forever! Turtle Funerals.

'She was always very proud of her figure.'

"You fool! This isn't embalming fluid, this is my coffee."

'He arranged it himself. Let's face it he really was the skinflint's skinflint...'

"We will now observe a moment of silently checking our BlackBerrys."

Bugs hold a candle-light vigil for fallen comrade while the old man responsible for his death is unrepentant.