Funeral Tradition Humorist Gifts

"Who'd have thought old Harry would turn out to be a vampire?"

'He wanted to be remembered this way.'

"Hope you don't mind—it was his last request."

The game comes first...

'He always said he wouldn't be seen dead with his shirt outside his trousers - he'll be livid.'

Dead Man's Handel

A signaller directing pallbearers

"Dearly beloved - We gather today to honor the life of the greatest magician of our time."

"As always he found a way to duck out of working overtime!"

'That was so funny. I haven't booed that loudly in years.'

'He was a shooting star, passing through the firmament. Lighting up our dull lives with his all too brief presence.' 'I think we're at the wrong funeral.'

Priest gives the last rites to an expired metre.

"Well he was there a minute ago!"

"His last wish was that we delete his browsing history."

Fisherman Funneral

"You fool! This isn't embalming fluid, this is my coffee."

'She was always very proud of her figure.'

"I think it's important to remember that he isn't gone forever. He's still alive. He just played a character on TV who died."

Bug Funerals

'He arranged it himself. Let's face it he really was the skinflint's skinflint...'

"He was right about saving that box. It did come in handy."

"We will now observe a moment of silently checking our BlackBerrys."

Bugs hold a candle-light vigil for fallen comrade while the old man responsible for his death is unrepentant.

"Pleasant Hill Funeral Home. Free Wi-Fi."

"Hell of a way to end the summer."

'When you said we were planting a bug, this isn't what I thought you had in mind."

"He will be remembered by his Google Assistant."

'I think he would have been pleased to know that I got his entire record breaking bungee jump on video.'

'I thought new home prices had fallen.'

"When Kevin walked into a room, he lit it up."

O'Leary's Monuments

'There's no talking to him when he's like this.'

'Why is he always hanging around?'