Funeral Parlor Humorist Gifts

Black Widow's husband.

"Who'd have thought old Harry would turn out to be a vampire?"

'He wanted to be remembered this way.'

"Hope you don't mind—it was his last request."

'He always said he wouldn't be seen dead with his shirt outside his trousers - he'll be livid.'

The game comes first...

Dead Man's Handel

"Dearly beloved - We gather today to honor the life of the greatest magician of our time."

I told myself I wasn't going to cry at his funeral

"As always he found a way to duck out of working overtime!"

A signaller directing pallbearers

'That was so funny. I haven't booed that loudly in years.'

'He was a shooting star, passing through the firmament. Lighting up our dull lives with his all too brief presence.' 'I think we're at the wrong funeral.'

"Well he was there a minute ago!"

Priest gives the last rites to an expired metre.

'He arranged it himself. Let's face it he really was the skinflint's skinflint...'

'She was always very proud of her figure.'

"You fool! This isn't embalming fluid, this is my coffee."

Fisherman Funneral

No caption. (Mimes carry an invisible casket from a hearse).

Geez, this is gonna take forever! Turtle Funerals.

"I think it's important to remember that he isn't gone forever. He's still alive. He just played a character on TV who died."

Bug Funerals

"His last wish was that we delete his browsing history."

"He was right about saving that box. It did come in handy."

"We will now observe a moment of silently checking our BlackBerrys."

Bugs hold a candle-light vigil for fallen comrade while the old man responsible for his death is unrepentant.

"Hell of a way to end the summer."

'When you said we were planting a bug, this isn't what I thought you had in mind."

'I thought new home prices had fallen.'

'Why is he always hanging around?'

"He will be remembered by his Google Assistant."

"When Kevin walked into a room, he lit it up."

'I think he would have been pleased to know that I got his entire record breaking bungee jump on video.'

"Pleasant Hill Funeral Home. Free Wi-Fi."