Funeral Humorists Gifts

"Well, finally! Gracefully aging no more."

Matryoshka Funeral

"Pleasant Hill Funeral Home. Free Wi-Fi."

"Thanks for coming, this was just a social experiment."

"He was right about saving that box. It did come in handy."

'I think he would have been pleased to know that I got his entire record breaking bungee jump on video.'

Grim Reaper rowing a boat full of dead souls to the afterlife; a tip jar sits on the side of the boat.

"Who'd have thought old Harry would turn out to be a vampire?"

'He wanted to be remembered this way.'

"Hope you don't mind—it was his last request."

'He always said he wouldn't be seen dead with his shirt outside his trousers - he'll be livid.'

The game comes first...

Dead Man's Handel

"As always he found a way to duck out of working overtime!"

'That was so funny. I haven't booed that loudly in years.'

A signaller directing pallbearers

"Dearly beloved - We gather today to honor the life of the greatest magician of our time."

'He was a shooting star, passing through the firmament. Lighting up our dull lives with his all too brief presence.' 'I think we're at the wrong funeral.'

Priest gives the last rites to an expired metre.

"Well he was there a minute ago!"

Fisherman Funneral

"You fool! This isn't embalming fluid, this is my coffee."

"His last wish was that we delete his browsing history."

"I think it's important to remember that he isn't gone forever. He's still alive. He just played a character on TV who died."

'He arranged it himself. Let's face it he really was the skinflint's skinflint...'

Bug Funerals

'She was always very proud of her figure.'

"We will now observe a moment of silently checking our BlackBerrys."

Bugs hold a candle-light vigil for fallen comrade while the old man responsible for his death is unrepentant.

'I thought new home prices had fallen.'

"When Kevin walked into a room, he lit it up."

"Hell of a way to end the summer."

"He will be remembered by his Google Assistant."

O'Leary's Monuments

'Why is he always hanging around?'