Funeral Comedians Gifts

'Once a member of the mile high club, now a member of the six foot under club.'

"Who'd have thought old Harry would turn out to be a vampire?"

'He wanted to be remembered this way.'

"Hope you don't mind—it was his last request."

'He always said he wouldn't be seen dead with his shirt outside his trousers - he'll be livid.'

Dead Man's Handel

Goldfish funeral

"Dearly beloved - We gather today to honor the life of the greatest magician of our time."

A signaller directing pallbearers

I told myself I wasn't going to cry at his funeral

"As always he found a way to duck out of working overtime!"

'That was so funny. I haven't booed that loudly in years.'

'He was a shooting star, passing through the firmament. Lighting up our dull lives with his all too brief presence.' 'I think we're at the wrong funeral.'

"Well he was there a minute ago!"

Priest gives the last rites to an expired metre.

Bug Funerals

Geez, this is gonna take forever! Turtle Funerals.

No caption. (Mimes carry an invisible casket from a hearse).

"You fool! This isn't embalming fluid, this is my coffee."

Fisherman Funneral

'He arranged it himself. Let's face it he really was the skinflint's skinflint...'

Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, pollen to pollen, mold to mold

"He was right about saving that box. It did come in handy."

"I think it's important to remember that he isn't gone forever. He's still alive. He just played a character on TV who died."

"His last wish was that we delete his browsing history."

"We will now observe a moment of silently checking our BlackBerrys."

Bugs hold a candle-light vigil for fallen comrade while the old man responsible for his death is unrepentant.

"Pleasant Hill Funeral Home. Free Wi-Fi."

O'Leary's Monuments

"Hell of a way to end the summer."

"He will be remembered by his Google Assistant."

'I think he would have been pleased to know that I got his entire record breaking bungee jump on video.'

"When Kevin walked into a room, he lit it up."

'Why is he always hanging around?'

'When you said we were planting a bug, this isn't what I thought you had in mind."