Funeral Comedians Pillows

'Once a member of the mile high club, now a member of the six foot under club.'

"Who'd have thought old Harry would turn out to be a vampire?"

'He wanted to be remembered this way.'

"Hope you don't mind—it was his last request."

'He always said he wouldn't be seen dead with his shirt outside his trousers - he'll be livid.'

Dead Man's Handel

A signaller directing pallbearers

"Dearly beloved - We gather today to honor the life of the greatest magician of our time."

'That was so funny. I haven't booed that loudly in years.'

"As always he found a way to duck out of working overtime!"

'He was a shooting star, passing through the firmament. Lighting up our dull lives with his all too brief presence.' 'I think we're at the wrong funeral.'

Priest gives the last rites to an expired metre.

"Well he was there a minute ago!"

"I think it's important to remember that he isn't gone forever. He's still alive. He just played a character on TV who died."

'He arranged it himself. Let's face it he really was the skinflint's skinflint...'

Bug Funerals

"You fool! This isn't embalming fluid, this is my coffee."

"His last wish was that we delete his browsing history."

"He was right about saving that box. It did come in handy."

Fisherman Funneral

"We will now observe a moment of silently checking our BlackBerrys."

Bugs hold a candle-light vigil for fallen comrade while the old man responsible for his death is unrepentant.

'Why is he always hanging around?'

"He will be remembered by his Google Assistant."

"Hell of a way to end the summer."

'When you said we were planting a bug, this isn't what I thought you had in mind."

O'Leary's Monuments

"Pleasant Hill Funeral Home. Free Wi-Fi."

"When Kevin walked into a room, he lit it up."

'I thought new home prices had fallen.'

'I think he would have been pleased to know that I got his entire record breaking bungee jump on video.'