Funeral Comedy Fan Pillows

"He brought joy to tens."

"Who'd have thought old Harry would turn out to be a vampire?"

'He wanted to be remembered this way.'

"Hope you don't mind—it was his last request."

Dead Man's Handel

"As always he found a way to duck out of working overtime!"

"Dearly beloved - We gather today to honor the life of the greatest magician of our time."

'He was a shooting star, passing through the firmament. Lighting up our dull lives with his all too brief presence.' 'I think we're at the wrong funeral.'

Priest gives the last rites to an expired metre.

"Well he was there a minute ago!"

'He arranged it himself. Let's face it he really was the skinflint's skinflint...'

Fisherman Funneral

'She was always very proud of her figure.'

"I think it's important to remember that he isn't gone forever. He's still alive. He just played a character on TV who died."

"He was right about saving that box. It did come in handy."

"His last wish was that we delete his browsing history."

Bug Funerals

"You fool! This isn't embalming fluid, this is my coffee."

"We will now observe a moment of silently checking our BlackBerrys."

Bugs hold a candle-light vigil for fallen comrade while the old man responsible for his death is unrepentant.

'I told you that something was wrong with your cousin Wilbur.'

O'Leary's Monuments

"Pleasant Hill Funeral Home. Free Wi-Fi."

'I thought new home prices had fallen.'

"When Kevin walked into a room, he lit it up."

'Why is he always hanging around?'

'When you said we were planting a bug, this isn't what I thought you had in mind."

'I think he would have been pleased to know that I got his entire record breaking bungee jump on video.'

'I'd always hoped that I'd leave this mortal coil surrounded by my beautiful, loving family,,, so can some of you ugly ones move to the back'

'We're not here to mourn, but to celebrate, because frankly, no-one is sorry to see him go...'

'You're sure that's one of the stages of grief?'

'This sucks. Let's try and start the wave.'

'I believe it's a snuff box.'