Funeral Humor Fan Gifts

"You fool! This isn't embalming fluid, this is my coffee."

I told myself I wasn't going to cry at his funeral

Chinese Funerals.

"Dearly beloved - We gather today to honor the life of the greatest magician of our time."

"Needless to say, the guy wasn't exactly well liked!"

Night of the Zombonies.

"Who'd have thought old Harry would turn out to be a vampire?"

'He wanted to be remembered this way.'

"Hope you don't mind—it was his last request."

Dead Man's Handel

"As always he found a way to duck out of working overtime!"

'He was a shooting star, passing through the firmament. Lighting up our dull lives with his all too brief presence.' 'I think we're at the wrong funeral.'

Priest gives the last rites to an expired metre.

"Well he was there a minute ago!"

No caption. (Mimes carry an invisible casket from a hearse).

Fisherman Funneral

"I think it's important to remember that he isn't gone forever. He's still alive. He just played a character on TV who died."

'She was always very proud of her figure.'

'He arranged it himself. Let's face it he really was the skinflint's skinflint...'

"He was right about saving that box. It did come in handy."

"His last wish was that we delete his browsing history."

Geez, this is gonna take forever! Turtle Funerals.

"We will now observe a moment of silently checking our BlackBerrys."

Bugs hold a candle-light vigil for fallen comrade while the old man responsible for his death is unrepentant.

"When Kevin walked into a room, he lit it up."

'I told you that something was wrong with your cousin Wilbur.'

'I thought new home prices had fallen.'

'There's no talking to him when he's like this.'

'I think he would have been pleased to know that I got his entire record breaking bungee jump on video.'

O'Leary's Monuments

'Why is he always hanging around?'

"Pleasant Hill Funeral Home. Free Wi-Fi."

'When you said we were planting a bug, this isn't what I thought you had in mind."

'I'd always hoped that I'd leave this mortal coil surrounded by my beautiful, loving family,,, so can some of you ugly ones move to the back'

'You're sure that's one of the stages of grief?'