Funeral Director Humor Fan Gifts

Geez, this is gonna take forever! Turtle Funerals.

"We are gathered here to morn the passing of Bob Opossum."

"Who'd have thought old Harry would turn out to be a vampire?"

'He wanted to be remembered this way.'

"Hope you don't mind—it was his last request."

Dead Man's Handel

Goldfish funeral

I told myself I wasn't going to cry at his funeral

"You mind? I'm starting a blog."

"As always he found a way to duck out of working overtime!"

"Dearly beloved - We gather today to honor the life of the greatest magician of our time."

'He was a shooting star, passing through the firmament. Lighting up our dull lives with his all too brief presence.' 'I think we're at the wrong funeral.'

Priest gives the last rites to an expired metre.

"Well he was there a minute ago!"

"His last wish was that we delete his browsing history."

Bug Funerals

No caption. (Mimes carry an invisible casket from a hearse).

'He arranged it himself. Let's face it he really was the skinflint's skinflint...'

Fisherman Funneral

"I think it's important to remember that he isn't gone forever. He's still alive. He just played a character on TV who died."

"You fool! This isn't embalming fluid, this is my coffee."

Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, pollen to pollen, mold to mold

"He was right about saving that box. It did come in handy."

"We will now observe a moment of silently checking our BlackBerrys."

Bugs hold a candle-light vigil for fallen comrade while the old man responsible for his death is unrepentant.

"When Kevin walked into a room, he lit it up."

'I think he would have been pleased to know that I got his entire record breaking bungee jump on video.'

'When you said we were planting a bug, this isn't what I thought you had in mind."

'I thought new home prices had fallen.'

O'Leary's Monuments

'Why is he always hanging around?'

"Pleasant Hill Funeral Home. Free Wi-Fi."

"He will be remembered by his Google Assistant."

Death helps with a broken down Hearse

'I'd always hoped that I'd leave this mortal coil surrounded by my beautiful, loving family,,, so can some of you ugly ones move to the back'