Funeral Director Humor Fan Gifts

"We are gathered here to morn the passing of Bob Opossum."

"Who'd have thought old Harry would turn out to be a vampire?"

'He wanted to be remembered this way.'

"Hope you don't mind—it was his last request."

Dead Man's Handel

"You mind? I'm starting a blog."

"As always he found a way to duck out of working overtime!"

"Dearly beloved - We gather today to honor the life of the greatest magician of our time."

'He was a shooting star, passing through the firmament. Lighting up our dull lives with his all too brief presence.' 'I think we're at the wrong funeral.'

"Well he was there a minute ago!"

Priest gives the last rites to an expired metre.

"He was right about saving that box. It did come in handy."

'He arranged it himself. Let's face it he really was the skinflint's skinflint...'

Fisherman Funneral

"I think it's important to remember that he isn't gone forever. He's still alive. He just played a character on TV who died."

"His last wish was that we delete his browsing history."

"You fool! This isn't embalming fluid, this is my coffee."

Bug Funerals

"We will now observe a moment of silently checking our BlackBerrys."

Bugs hold a candle-light vigil for fallen comrade while the old man responsible for his death is unrepentant.

O'Leary's Monuments

'I thought new home prices had fallen.'

Death helps with a broken down Hearse

"When Kevin walked into a room, he lit it up."

'Why is he always hanging around?'

"He will be remembered by his Google Assistant."

'I think he would have been pleased to know that I got his entire record breaking bungee jump on video.'

'When you said we were planting a bug, this isn't what I thought you had in mind."

"Pleasant Hill Funeral Home. Free Wi-Fi."

'I'd always hoped that I'd leave this mortal coil surrounded by my beautiful, loving family,,, so can some of you ugly ones move to the back'

'We're not here to mourn, but to celebrate, because frankly, no-one is sorry to see him go...'