Financial Faux Pas Collector Pillows

'George has us well diversified. We own every stock in the Misfortune 500.'

Two women wearing identical dresses head toward exchange window at department store.

"I don't consider a missing four million dollars to be 'monkeyshines'."

Mono-Tasking, Multi-Tasking, No-No Tasking and Nada Tasking.

The Bland Leading the Bland

"Yes, we're a letterbox company. How can I help you?"

"I had money problems- forged fivers the wrong colour!"

"Mmm..I haven't worn this tie since the firms 1997 dinner and dance..."

'I need you to reassure the investors. Can you keep a straight face?'

"You have it backwards. When you're having an online meeting, you're supposed to look good from the waist up."

Conrad Black will be unable to do his investment club's tax returns this year.

"You might consider new socks as well."

"It's an important interview, so you probably shouldn't wear a necktie that contains more material than your suit."

'Your check to 'Hooters' bounced, ironically enought.'

'Bob, you're suffering from embarrassing static cling.'

"It's not a cummerbund. It's my underpants."

"The Bank has returned the rent cheque marked 'Insufficient funds', but it doesn't say whether that's them or us!"

'What do you mean, I don't match? Everything I'm wearing is wrinkled.'

"I know, but my mom knitted it for me."

Joe's Weight Gain: 'Dang it! My pants must've shrunk in the dryer. . . Ok. . . who's responsible for shrinking all of my slacks?!!'

'I would've dressed better, but my tie was dirty.'

Cargo briefs

'You are a fool...I said 'Why don't you wear a BANDANA!'

Embarrassed man finds a skimpy dress in his suitcase.

"That's not 'smart casual'."

"You wear a necktie with a suit jacket and white socks with brown shoes?? The guy who shot you did it absolutely right!"

'Well he said my outfit clashed, and dang if it didn't get me sorta hot. Although in retrospect, I can see what he meant.'

"Dad."

'Oh, so when you said wear a...Ok, now I get it.'

'The insider traders always sit together.'

'Today stocks tumbled on the rumor that there is no Santa Claus.'

"For the hundredth time, you snip a lose thread you don't pull it."

'Apparently the car pool has a dress code I was not aware of and so now I have to take the bus like some idiot.'

"You'tll scare people to death dressed like that." "What people?" "Well, me for starters!"

And today's winner of a special place in Hell is...Guys who wear bikini style bathing suits to the beach...