Financial Follies Pillows

'The only investment I'd suggest is that you rent a van, then put your office equipment in and take it to the pawn shop.'

"Unfortunately Daddy already owes the government about 500,000 Pokemon cards."

"I don't consider a missing four million dollars to be 'monkeyshines'."

Ponzi-Mat Vending Machine

Benefit mistakes cost one billion a year. Well in our defence we did get a lot of the numbers correct,they just weren't in the right order.

"Yes, we're a letterbox company. How can I help you?"

I need a raise. This is no time to joke. I've been on a buying binge at the iPhone app store and I can't pay my credit card. These apps are worth it. They're life-changing, they're

I spent it all under the silly notion that it was all mine.

Sign on door of company cafeteria of financial services company says: 'Do not feed the bears'.

Conrad Black will be unable to do his investment club's tax returns this year.

'Your check to 'Hooters' bounced, ironically enought.'

'George has us well diversified. We own every stock in the Misfortune 500.'

"The Bank has returned the rent cheque marked 'Insufficient funds', but it doesn't say whether that's them or us!"

'I sympathize, but you can't file for mortgage forclosure. It has to be bankruptcy.'

'And then I said, 'So sue me!'...'

You have 17 creditors that won't get paid this month. Eighteen, including yourself.

"You should have come to me sooner."

I'm sorry, Mr. Higgins is out right now with his bag of salt looking for an open wound.

Bankruptcy court

Greece & EU

"I told you we'd lose the house."

'Today stocks tumbled on the rumor that there is no Santa Claus.'

"If there's discrepancies in my tax returns, don't blame me. Blame the guy in the alley I paid $20 to do them."

"This guy makes big money, but every penny goes to support his opulent life style. Let's give him a break."

"May I be frank as to why we're reluctant to add you to our sales force, Mr. Ponzi?"

Junk bonds, inc. InOut trays.

Karate School. Self-Defense. I can't believe you signed a contract for a full year of expensive karate lessons! I know --- I'm still kicking myself!

'It's a foreclosure notice from our bank - along with an application for a new credit card.'

Please wait to be cheated.

"The tax authority wants to hide someone from their witness protection program here. They think it'll be safe because no one would look for an honest accountant at our company."

'What do you want the money for?'

'We had a clogged sink in the men's lavatory. I had to call in a Plumber.'

"Your company has gone bankrupt and you've been imprisoned because we gave you bad info? Didn't your mom ever teach you not to trust strangers?"

'Should I ask for a raise?' 'Don't bother, the firm's going under!'

'What do you mean overdrawn...I still have twelve cheques left!'