Financial Fiasco Enthusiast Pillows

"I don't consider a missing four million dollars to be 'monkeyshines'."

'Tax returns prepared - honest mistakes our speciality.'

Investments - Founders Bear and Bull.

Stock market Bull & Bear financial whirlwind.

'This is where we go to get away from it all. . . except for Stanley's money.'

'And this just in from the stock market... buy, sell, buy, sell, buy, sell, buy!'

I need a raise. This is no time to joke. I've been on a buying binge at the iPhone app store and I can't pay my credit card. These apps are worth it. They're life-changing, they're

"Yes, we're a letterbox company. How can I help you?"

'Then one day Ralph decided there isn't anything more important than money, and became a day trader.'

'We need to schedule an autopsy audit to find out what happened here.'

'Tech stocks tumbled on news that Alan Greenspan's computer was down.'

"I had money problems- forged fivers the wrong colour!"

A measured response to the budget speech.

Conrad Black will be unable to do his investment club's tax returns this year.

'Your check to 'Hooters' bounced, ironically enought.'

"The Bank has returned the rent cheque marked 'Insufficient funds', but it doesn't say whether that's them or us!"

"In a perfect world, yes - but you can't claim taxes as a business loss."

'And then I said, 'So sue me!'...'

'Look on the bright side -- we could still be in the MARKET.'

You have 17 creditors that won't get paid this month. Eighteen, including yourself.

Greece & EU

'Quick, Lassie, our credit cards are maxed! Get help!'

'I need a small, temporary tax hike - I found a great investment opportunity in Nigeria.'

"If there's discrepancies in my tax returns, don't blame me. Blame the guy in the alley I paid $20 to do them."

"Clean your wallet, Sir?"

Karate School. Self-Defense. I can't believe you signed a contract for a full year of expensive karate lessons! I know --- I'm still kicking myself!

"May I be frank as to why we're reluctant to add you to our sales force, Mr. Ponzi?"

"My wife! My broker! What did IBM close at?"

'I'm sorry Jeeves, I'm going to have to let one go.'

'Oh silly me. Did I put that chart back upside down?'

Robert Maxwell, media tycoon, breaks open a piggy bank to raid pension money.

Please wait to be cheated.

That's Us

"Sorry, but heaven is for humans. What you are looking for is a haven... a tax haven."

'This drug treats 'stock market jitters' but a side effect is 'irrational exuberance'.'