Financial Follies Aficionado Pillows

Conrad Black will be unable to do his investment club's tax returns this year.

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

'There's good news and bad news, J. B. - we now control 51% of this corporation's stock!'

A Q&A with President Obama over jobs

"What's a debenture?"

'Actually, accounting is an exact science.'

'Hey, look, I can stand up and shout, too!'

"In the event of an actual S.E.C. investigation, legal representation will drop from the ceiling."

'My husband is very sensitive. He cries when he sees sunsets, old romantic films, and falling values of his 401(k)'

"You're a fine one to talk about my spending!"

Crony Capitalism (Always Follow the Money Trail)

Stock market investment advice

'Mixed news from the federal reserve...interest rates will drop on savings but will go up on loans.'

"The only good news this year, gentlemen, is our massive bonuses."

'There are only three things that matter in this world, son... bottom line...'

The burden of carrying the Euro.

'They say a fool and his money are soon parted. Here's a list of fools. Make it happen.'

'Check with legal and find out -- maybe we're a non-profit.'

"He doesn't fiscally stimulate me anymore."

Economy.

'Dad, I know all about the birds and the bees; explain stock-swaps and derivatives.'

'The rich get richer, but what do the poor get?'

"It seems to be right about this point that our company started going into free fall."

"Getting back into the market can be stressful. I recommend a portfolio of sleep-aids, tranquilizers, and antacids.'

Pulling The Economy Uphill

"I don't consider a missing four million dollars to be 'monkeyshines'."

'Dow, Jones, Russell & Nikkei - Leading economic indicators.'

Occupy Budget Balancing

"I tell you, I don't like the looks of it."

'Hi, I'm the ghost of your past, present and future stock portfolio!'

'In a Washington economic summit, a panel of three economists offered two dozen opinions about the direction of global economics.'

'Don't mind him. He gets this wa every time they start talking about the inverse relationship between bond yields and prices.'

'You certainly have a way with no words.'

'As you can clearly see in this Pie Chart...something is eating into our profit margins!'