Financial Farce Enthusiast Pillows

"The tax authority wants to hide someone from their witness protection program here. They think it'll be safe because no one would look for an honest accountant at our company."

'Now that I have your attention...'

British savings accounts

Loan Alley

America's Funniest Interest Rate Hikes

'The bank says they're freezing my assets! I don't understand: They've always been frozen...'

'All we can do is hope for identity theft.'

"You have to declare what you rob from the rich, but you can deduct what you give to the poor."

Jumping Wall Street.

'Now let's proceed downstairs and see where our stock shares presently sits,'

"At least we're consistent ... "

Out of control

"I don't consider a missing four million dollars to be 'monkeyshines'."

Greek Crisis

'What do you mean, the chart resembles an iceberg?'

'Our fund lost millions, but the good news is our management fees are not based on performance.'

'Credit being what it is, I'm sure you won't mind if we see your 200,000 cattle first...'

IRS: The country is broke, but your taxes cannot be construed as 'Charity to the Poor'.

The Decline of the Euro.

'In today's market news, losers outnumbered those who were wiped out.'

"You inherited an extra toe from your father and didn't pay the inheritance tax on it."

I think I can explain what happened to your investment, with the use of this simple chart.

Golden bubbles

'I today's market news, Greed roared back.'

Bank notes coming out of a safe.

"I'd like these invested in an aggressive mutual fund."

'Due to current market conditions, I'm recommending that my clients invest heavily into pain medication companies.'

'We've had a marginal advance-decline on a near-term buy-out, but no one knows if that translates as a downturn or an up-tick.'

'Money, that's what seperates us from the apes.'

Ireland and its Celtic Tiger request some donations

'We stopped to smell the darn roses here!'

'I called you in here because your expenses and contributions appear to be quite elaborate!'

'It's a deal, for $15 an hour, I'll stand in front of your office.'

Budget Cuts

Inflation is a national headache. . . caused by asset indigestion!