Financial Farce Fan Pillows

'When you give the annual report, sir, can you slip in a bit of faux honesty?'

'Now that I have your attention...'

Loan Alley

'All we can do is hope for identity theft.'

Jumping Wall Street.

'I wonder how the economy is doing.'

Greek Crisis

"I don't consider a missing four million dollars to be 'monkeyshines'."

'Our tabby was pre-approved for a credit card!'

'Credit being what it is, I'm sure you won't mind if we see your 200,000 cattle first...'

IRS: The country is broke, but your taxes cannot be construed as 'Charity to the Poor'.

Golden bubbles

'In today's market news, losers outnumbered those who were wiped out.'

"I'd like these invested in an aggressive mutual fund."

"You inherited an extra toe from your father and didn't pay the inheritance tax on it."

"Sure, it may be great for us, but it's hell on the markets."

'We've had a marginal advance-decline on a near-term buy-out, but no one knows if that translates as a downturn or an up-tick.'

'Money, that's what seperates us from the apes.'

'I called you in here because your expenses and contributions appear to be quite elaborate!'

'It's a deal, for $15 an hour, I'll stand in front of your office.'

Black hole-in-the-wall at Jodrell Bank

'You won't feel a thing. We make a small incision in your wallet and...'

Department of Unrealistic Dividend Earnings: 'We realize it is an unnecessary department but the acronym was just too cool to shut it down.'

"Well, I guess the bubble has burst over at Phillips Rodny Associates."

Credit card campaign ad

"In this company, GDP stands for gree, deception and profit."

'Can I help? You bet your bottom dollar I can.'

'I need a loan or a bailout so I can evolve,'

Ace Borrowing Company (formerly Ace Loan Company)

"Will the current economic trend end in a whimper or a bang? For answers, let's turn to tonight's guests!"

"We've made such good progress with your stress management levels, that I feel able to risk a small setback."

The Apprentice: Recession Special.

"For someone your age, the yearly premium on a $5,000 policy is $8,000."