Financial Joke Fan Pillows

'That's Lloyd from accounting. He has lived his own personal recession for years.'

'Now that I have your attention...'

British savings accounts

'The check is in the email attachment.'

Boss to worker taking out wallet: 'It's only fair, Pete. Last year, we shared profits!'

Loan Alley

America's Funniest Interest Rate Hikes

'The bank says they're freezing my assets! I don't understand: They've always been frozen...'

'All we can do is hope for identity theft.'

Our Motto: Buy Low Sell High is the Best Revenge.'

"You have to declare what you rob from the rich, but you can deduct what you give to the poor."

Jumping Wall Street.

'Now let's proceed downstairs and see where our stock shares presently sits,'

Out of control

Greek Crisis

'A temporary solution would be to white out this part of the chart.'

'Our fund lost millions, but the good news is our management fees are not based on performance.'

'Credit being what it is, I'm sure you won't mind if we see your 200,000 cattle first...'

IRS: The country is broke, but your taxes cannot be construed as 'Charity to the Poor'.

'Eureka! I found the gene that causes people to sell low and buy high!'

Golden bubbles

"I'd like these invested in an aggressive mutual fund."

'Oh that's weird! i just had a shiver go down my wallet. My wife must have just bought something.'

Bank notes coming out of a safe.

'In today's market news, losers outnumbered those who were wiped out.'

In case of falling markets break glass.

"You inherited an extra toe from your father and didn't pay the inheritance tax on it."

"Sure, it may be great for us, but it's hell on the markets."

'We've had a marginal advance-decline on a near-term buy-out, but no one knows if that translates as a downturn or an up-tick.'

'I consider myself to be a sophisticated investor. I would never invest in penny stocks. I lost all of my money investing with a brokerage specializing in nickel stocks.'

'We stopped to smell the darn roses here!'

Federal Guidelines

'Money, that's what seperates us from the apes.'

"How much do I need? How much you got?"

'The market dropped on the news some IRS refund checks said 'do not cash until next Friday'.'