Financial Joke Fan Gifts

'That's Lloyd from accounting. He has lived his own personal recession for years.'

'Now that I have your attention...'

British savings accounts

'The check is in the email attachment.'

Boss to worker taking out wallet: 'It's only fair, Pete. Last year, we shared profits!'

Loan Alley

America's Funniest Interest Rate Hikes

Our Motto: Buy Low Sell High is the Best Revenge.'

'The bank says they're freezing my assets! I don't understand: They've always been frozen...'

'All we can do is hope for identity theft.'

"You have to declare what you rob from the rich, but you can deduct what you give to the poor."

Bingo! Credit card number!! The real reason raccoons like garbage.

Jumping Wall Street.

'Now let's proceed downstairs and see where our stock shares presently sits,'

Greek Crisis

Out of control

'A temporary solution would be to white out this part of the chart.'

'Our fund lost millions, but the good news is our management fees are not based on performance.'

'Eureka! I found the gene that causes people to sell low and buy high!'

'Credit being what it is, I'm sure you won't mind if we see your 200,000 cattle first...'

IRS: The country is broke, but your taxes cannot be construed as 'Charity to the Poor'.

"You inherited an extra toe from your father and didn't pay the inheritance tax on it."

'In today's market news, losers outnumbered those who were wiped out.'

"I'd like these invested in an aggressive mutual fund."

Golden bubbles

In case of falling markets break glass.

Bank notes coming out of a safe.

'Oh that's weird! i just had a shiver go down my wallet. My wife must have just bought something.'

"Sure, it may be great for us, but it's hell on the markets."

'We've had a marginal advance-decline on a near-term buy-out, but no one knows if that translates as a downturn or an up-tick.'

'I consider myself to be a sophisticated investor. I would never invest in penny stocks. I lost all of my money investing with a brokerage specializing in nickel stocks.'

Federal Guidelines

'Money, that's what seperates us from the apes.'

'We stopped to smell the darn roses here!'

'Greece is up for auction on eBay - and there's no bidders.'