Money Joke Fan Gifts

Lost 10 Dollar Bill Reward $10

'Now that I have your attention...'

Boss to worker taking out wallet: 'It's only fair, Pete. Last year, we shared profits!'

Loan Alley

'All we can do is hope for identity theft.'

Jumping Wall Street.

'Credit being what it is, I'm sure you won't mind if we see your 200,000 cattle first...'

"I'd like these invested in an aggressive mutual fund."

"Sure, it may be great for us, but it's hell on the markets."

'Money, that's what seperates us from the apes.'

Black hole-in-the-wall at Jodrell Bank

The classic 'large scale corporate raider' eventually, they end up catching themselves!!

News and Magazines. Record Debt. Dollar Down. How can the dollar be weak when we've been giving it such a good workout?

"We must do something about the bloated, fat cat image bankers have a acquired...I think I'll settle for a bigger chair!"

I can't believe It!

Dialed the number, ordered the tapes and placed hundreds of little ads. Didn't hit a snag until step four: Just sit back and rake it in.

Department of Unrealistic Dividend Earnings: 'We realize it is an unnecessary department but the acronym was just too cool to shut it down.'

'You won't feel a thing. We make a small incision in your wallet and...'

'It's 10pm, does anyone know how much the U.S. dollar is worth?'

'The difference between Micro and Macro economics is this: Macro is what you owe, and Micro is what you're paid.'

"We've made such good progress with your stress management levels, that I feel able to risk a small setback."

IRS. That was a rough audit. They disallowed all of my deductions! You can't claim all these people as dependents ... The business expenses are not correct ... and the charitable contributions don't meet guidelines. You're shredding my return with that?! Wow! Ut was The Taxes Chainsaw Massacre!

'Can I help? You bet your bottom dollar I can.'

Ace Borrowing Company (formerly Ace Loan Company)

Credit card campaign ad

'He finds it easier to fire people this way.'

'Now that I think about it, you're right: Like bankers, we thrive on the misfortune of others...'

'There's been a big bank merger, sir, so you now have a joint checking account with a Mr. Slavomir Bezparyadok of Zagreb.'

'The Bishop called - he'd like to see a copy of that sermon you gave last Sunday.'

'No, I said put the money in the Caymen Islands.'

'You thought I'd gone out of business? What gave you that idea?'

'I'm going to refer you to a doctor. You seem to have developed immunity to winning stocks.'

Updated Fables. The Ant And The Grasshopper … And The Mosquito. IRS.

"Not to worry mum - I've spotted us a Banksy!"

"Oh, that's just a side effect from last week's co-payment."