Money Humor Fan Gifts

IRS Pay Taxes Here. If money did grow on trees, you can bet the IRS would be out on a limb!

'Now that I have your attention...'

British savings accounts

'The check is in the email attachment.'

Loan Alley

America's Funniest Interest Rate Hikes

'The bank says they're freezing my assets! I don't understand: They've always been frozen...'

Our Motto: Buy Low Sell High is the Best Revenge.'

'All we can do is hope for identity theft.'

"You have to declare what you rob from the rich, but you can deduct what you give to the poor."

Jumping Wall Street.

Bingo! Credit card number!! The real reason raccoons like garbage.

'Now let's proceed downstairs and see where our stock shares presently sits,'

Out of control

'A temporary solution would be to white out this part of the chart.'

'Our fund lost millions, but the good news is our management fees are not based on performance.'

'Eureka! I found the gene that causes people to sell low and buy high!'

'Credit being what it is, I'm sure you won't mind if we see your 200,000 cattle first...'

'Oh that's weird! i just had a shiver go down my wallet. My wife must have just bought something.'

I think I can explain what happened to your investment, with the use of this simple chart.

"Cook the books al dente so the auditor will have a little something to crunch."

In case of falling markets break glass.

Bank notes coming out of a safe.

"The interest rate can't go any lower, so if necessary, we'll have to go back to pounds of flesh."

"I'd like these invested in an aggressive mutual fund."

"Sure, it may be great for us, but it's hell on the markets."

'We've reached the thirty percent cut in operating expenses you wanted and we're the only two left in the building.'

'Money, that's what seperates us from the apes.'

'I consider myself to be a sophisticated investor. I would never invest in penny stocks. I lost all of my money investing with a brokerage specializing in nickel stocks.'

'We stopped to smell the darn roses here!'

Federal Guidelines

"We must do something about the bloated, fat cat image bankers have a acquired...I think I'll settle for a bigger chair!"

Budget Cuts

'Greece is up for auction on eBay - and there's no bidders.'

"I'm afraid with your income I couldn't possibly approve a loan of that size. Would you like a list of our approved loan sharks?"