Money Jokester Gifts

'Here's a twenty. Go nuts.'

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

'Foster's here, regarding his raise sir. Shall I have him crawl in now, or let him sweat a while?'

"Let's vote. All those in favour of flying to Switzerland, withdrawing our secret bank account and splitting?"

'How are you at takeovers?'

"The first thing we should do is get you two into a good mutual fund. Let me get out the 'Magic 8 Ball' and we'll fun some options."

"We can't just pluck figures out of the air any more. . . We use a bucket."

"Don't put your money into stocks. Bury it!"

"I have your evaluation...great teamwork, great morale...basically, you're a good dog."

'You call it a beer belly, I prefer to think of it as a lump sum settlement of liquid assets.'

I was more a financial magician myself. I could make money disappear very easily.

"Well, if I was ambitious, we'd have a nice house and more money, but I'd never be around."

"We'll double our chances of recovery if we buy two lottery tickets."

"Tag! Your salary's frozen."

"The GOOD news is that customers complaints are down, the BAD news is that we've got no customers."

"I'm afraid we don't offer student loans to elementary school pupils."

It's a nice apartment but I don't want to pay my share of the national debt for rent.

'I just asked to see the annual figures...'

'I'm worried - she insisted on closing every one of her accounts while she waited...'

"We try to inject a little humor in our statements, but you should take them seriously."

"...And when the world economy collapses, we all stand up and take over! Agreed?"

'The contest brought in only twenty two wrappers...'

'Think about it: There were over three million of us co-owning this ant-hill, so we only got a few cents each...'

Some cultures use fish as money. 'Got change for a halibut?' 'Sure! Minnows OK?

'Says you like to play practical jokes.'

Dollar sign balloon.

"If a higher interest rate is a sign of a stronger economy, you must think I'm golden."

'I wish I had my money back...'

'The movie doesn't scare me - the commercials do.'

GPS Shoes

'All these bailouts are silly - why don't they just give everybody their own ATM machines?'

'You have stock market fever.'