Jokester With Financial Flair Gifts

Any more rude letters from you and yours won't even go into the shuffle.

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

"Let's vote. All those in favour of flying to Switzerland, withdrawing our secret bank account and splitting?"

"The first thing we should do is get you two into a good mutual fund. Let me get out the 'Magic 8 Ball' and we'll fun some options."

'How are you at takeovers?'

'Frankly, I don't see a problem. By its very nature inherited wealth entitles you to be second-rate.'

"We can't just pluck figures out of the air any more. . . We use a bucket."

"Don't put your money into stocks. Bury it!"

"I have your evaluation...great teamwork, great morale...basically, you're a good dog."

'You call it a beer belly, I prefer to think of it as a lump sum settlement of liquid assets.'

"Well, if I was ambitious, we'd have a nice house and more money, but I'd never be around."

"We'll double our chances of recovery if we buy two lottery tickets."

"Tag! Your salary's frozen."

"The GOOD news is that customers complaints are down, the BAD news is that we've got no customers."

"I'm afraid we don't offer student loans to elementary school pupils."

It's a nice apartment but I don't want to pay my share of the national debt for rent.

'Think about it: There were over three million of us co-owning this ant-hill, so we only got a few cents each...'

'I'm worried - she insisted on closing every one of her accounts while she waited...'

'The contest brought in only twenty two wrappers...'

"We try to inject a little humor in our statements, but you should take them seriously."

'I just asked to see the annual figures...'

"...And when the world economy collapses, we all stand up and take over! Agreed?"

Some cultures use fish as money. 'Got change for a halibut?' 'Sure! Minnows OK?

'We're having the whole place done over in pistachio!'

'My latest invention...the credit rock!'

"If a higher interest rate is a sign of a stronger economy, you must think I'm golden."

'Here's a twenty. Go nuts.'

'I wish I had my money back...'

GPS Shoes

Economists explain the National Debt: 'Don't Worry! Be Happy!'

"My advice, don't marry for money. You can borrow it for 3.5%."

'You have stock market fever.'