Jokester About Money Matters Gifts

'Think about it: There were over three million of us co-owning this ant-hill, so we only got a few cents each...'

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

"I feel I'm doing fine. My sense of net worth is way up this quarter."

'We can't move in with my parents - they've moved in with grandma!'

"Let's vote. All those in favour of flying to Switzerland, withdrawing our secret bank account and splitting?"

"The first thing we should do is get you two into a good mutual fund. Let me get out the 'Magic 8 Ball' and we'll fun some options."

"We can't just pluck figures out of the air any more. . . We use a bucket."

"Don't put your money into stocks. Bury it!"

'You call it a beer belly, I prefer to think of it as a lump sum settlement of liquid assets.'

"Well, if I was ambitious, we'd have a nice house and more money, but I'd never be around."

"We'll double our chances of recovery if we buy two lottery tickets."

"Tag! Your salary's frozen."

It's a nice apartment but I don't want to pay my share of the national debt for rent.

"...And when the world economy collapses, we all stand up and take over! Agreed?"

'I'm worried - she insisted on closing every one of her accounts while she waited...'

'I just asked to see the annual figures...'

The Recession Hole.

"I'm afraid we don't offer student loans to elementary school pupils."

"We try to inject a little humor in our statements, but you should take them seriously."

Some cultures use fish as money. 'Got change for a halibut?' 'Sure! Minnows OK?

"If a higher interest rate is a sign of a stronger economy, you must think I'm golden."

'Before I give you the bill,do you suffer from heart trouble, high blood pressure,or sudden shock syndrome?'

Dollar sign balloon.

'My latest invention...the credit rock!'

'Here's a twenty. Go nuts.'

"Does he have bills to pay as well then..?"

'You have stock market fever.'

How much money do you want? How much have you got?

Computer that runs on money.

GPS Shoes

Economists explain the National Debt: 'Don't Worry! Be Happy!'

'I wish I had my money back...'

"My advice, don't marry for money. You can borrow it for 3.5%."