Finance Joke Fan Gifts

'C'mon, gimme some extra bucks... I need a raise!'

Ace Borrowing Company (formerly Ace Loan Company)

'Now that I have your attention...'

British savings accounts

'The check is in the email attachment.'

Boss to worker taking out wallet: 'It's only fair, Pete. Last year, we shared profits!'

Loan Alley

America's Funniest Interest Rate Hikes

'All we can do is hope for identity theft.'

Our Motto: Buy Low Sell High is the Best Revenge.'

'The bank says they're freezing my assets! I don't understand: They've always been frozen...'

"You have to declare what you rob from the rich, but you can deduct what you give to the poor."

Jumping Wall Street.

'Now let's proceed downstairs and see where our stock shares presently sits,'

"At least we're consistent ... "

Out of control

'A temporary solution would be to white out this part of the chart.'

'Our fund lost millions, but the good news is our management fees are not based on performance.'

'Eureka! I found the gene that causes people to sell low and buy high!'

'Our tabby was pre-approved for a credit card!'

'Credit being what it is, I'm sure you won't mind if we see your 200,000 cattle first...'

'Oh that's weird! i just had a shiver go down my wallet. My wife must have just bought something.'

Bank notes coming out of a safe.

In case of falling markets break glass.

The Decline of the Euro.

'No trouble at all giving you an overdraft Mr Simkins - have mine!'

"I'd like these invested in an aggressive mutual fund."

"Cook the books al dente so the auditor will have a little something to crunch."

"The interest rate can't go any lower, so if necessary, we'll have to go back to pounds of flesh."

"Sure, it may be great for us, but it's hell on the markets."

'Due to current market conditions, I'm recommending that my clients invest heavily into pain medication companies.'

'We stopped to smell the darn roses here!'

Ireland and its Celtic Tiger request some donations

'Money, that's what seperates us from the apes.'

Federal Guidelines