Finance Joke Fan Pillows

'C'mon, gimme some extra bucks... I need a raise!'

Ace Borrowing Company (formerly Ace Loan Company)

'Now that I have your attention...'

British savings accounts

'The check is in the email attachment.'

Boss to worker taking out wallet: 'It's only fair, Pete. Last year, we shared profits!'

Loan Alley

America's Funniest Interest Rate Hikes

'All we can do is hope for identity theft.'

'The bank says they're freezing my assets! I don't understand: They've always been frozen...'

Our Motto: Buy Low Sell High is the Best Revenge.'

"You have to declare what you rob from the rich, but you can deduct what you give to the poor."

Bingo! Credit card number!! The real reason raccoons like garbage.

Jumping Wall Street.

'Now let's proceed downstairs and see where our stock shares presently sits,'

Out of control

"At least we're consistent ... "

'A temporary solution would be to white out this part of the chart.'

'Our fund lost millions, but the good news is our management fees are not based on performance.'

'Credit being what it is, I'm sure you won't mind if we see your 200,000 cattle first...'

'Our tabby was pre-approved for a credit card!'

'Eureka! I found the gene that causes people to sell low and buy high!'

The Decline of the Euro.

"The interest rate can't go any lower, so if necessary, we'll have to go back to pounds of flesh."

In case of falling markets break glass.

Bank notes coming out of a safe.

'No trouble at all giving you an overdraft Mr Simkins - have mine!'

'Oh that's weird! i just had a shiver go down my wallet. My wife must have just bought something.'

"Cook the books al dente so the auditor will have a little something to crunch."

"I'd like these invested in an aggressive mutual fund."

"Sure, it may be great for us, but it's hell on the markets."

'Due to current market conditions, I'm recommending that my clients invest heavily into pain medication companies.'

'We stopped to smell the darn roses here!'

'Money, that's what seperates us from the apes.'

Federal Guidelines