Funny Finance Fan Pillows

'Our tabby was pre-approved for a credit card!'

Don't Even Think of Insider Trading

'Now that I have your attention...'

Loan Alley

'All we can do is hope for identity theft.'

Jumping Wall Street.

'What do you mean, the chart resembles an iceberg?'

"At least we're consistent ... "

'Credit being what it is, I'm sure you won't mind if we see your 200,000 cattle first...'

The Decline of the Euro.

"The interest rate can't go any lower, so if necessary, we'll have to go back to pounds of flesh."

"Cook the books al dente so the auditor will have a little something to crunch."

"I'd like these invested in an aggressive mutual fund."

'Due to current market conditions, I'm recommending that my clients invest heavily into pain medication companies.'

We only have two things to fear - fear itself and someone getting a look at our books.

Ireland and its Celtic Tiger request some donations

'Money, that's what seperates us from the apes.'

A few Halloween costume ideas.

Inflation is a national headache. . . caused by asset indigestion!

The classic 'large scale corporate raider' eventually, they end up catching themselves!!

"We must do something about the bloated, fat cat image bankers have a acquired...I think I'll settle for a bigger chair!"

"Let us pray for the possessed...and the re-possessed"

"It's part of a deal I worked out with the I.R.S."

Department of Unrealistic Dividend Earnings: 'We realize it is an unnecessary department but the acronym was just too cool to shut it down.'

'It's a bill collector!'

'It's 10pm, does anyone know how much the U.S. dollar is worth?'

'The difference between Micro and Macro economics is this: Macro is what you owe, and Micro is what you're paid.'

'Well, call it 'diet stocks'. Your bank account won't get fat because of the dividend income.'

'This rebate check isn't big enough for both of us.'

Who's taken the third quarter?

Ace Borrowing Company (formerly Ace Loan Company)

'Now that I think about it, you're right: Like bankers, we thrive on the misfortune of others...'

"We've made such good progress with your stress management levels, that I feel able to risk a small setback."

'Can I help? You bet your bottom dollar I can.'

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