Financial Comedy Aficionado Pillows

The Bartleys and their 2 unemplyoment checks.

"Mr. Larabee says he won't negotiate with terrorists."

'Now that I have your attention...'

British savings accounts

'The check is in the email attachment.'

"I keep feeling we should float the company"

Entering the Business Community: Assets/Liabilities

Loan Alley

"The Capt'n maintains a balanced portfolio should include a number of off-shore accounts."

"I'd like to thank my parents and my creditors for making this possible."

America's Funniest Interest Rate Hikes

'On the plus side we've saved money by getting all the numbers on one graph.'

Money Bar.

'The bank says they're freezing my assets! I don't understand: They've always been frozen...'

'The reason I like this guy's stock picks is, he's not burdened by having any experience in finance whatsoever.'

"When the company announced that they're gonna move our retirement accounts down to Mexico, I was like '401 Que Pasa?'"

'All we can do is hope for identity theft.'

Our Motto: Buy Low Sell High is the Best Revenge.'

"Call security, Miss Rightman. I have an overwhelming urge to throw good money after bad"

"Might you explain to me how your division managed to spend twenty-six thousand dollars on tennis balls?"

"You have to declare what you rob from the rich, but you can deduct what you give to the poor."

Jumping Wall Street.

"True, a salary cap on Wall Street may limit the talent pool, but, on the other hand, if they get any more talented we'll all be broke."

But under a different accounting convention ...

'You've been pre-approved for another credit card.'

"Aren't you the estate agent who sold us this house?"

'Instead of jail time, our head of finance chose the stock option.'

'Now let's proceed downstairs and see where our stock shares presently sits,'

'Can you see the future of my 401(k)?'

Out of control

'As part of our alternative budget management strategy we've got Tim on 'Hail Marys' in here and Geoff sacrificing a goat to Woden next door!'

You invested in Facebook?! How could you? That bugs you? You, of all people, are mad that the FTC is suing Meta Platforms in an antitrust case? No, I mean how can you afford to invest? If you can afford to buy stock, then I pay you way too much. It was only $40! Quiet, I'm calculating your pay cut.

'Mr. Hickey really knows how to keep our stockholders meetings short and sweet!'

White Collar Crime.

The Euro - R.I.P.