Finance Humor Aficionado Pillows

Please do not give insider tips to the bears.

SS Market Casino

'What do you mean, the chart resembles an iceberg?'

'Exploiting the workers hasn't helped...so we'll have to start screwing them.'

The warren buffet.

'Now that I have your attention...'

British savings accounts

'The check is in the email attachment.'

Will work for ETFs

Loan Alley

America's Funniest Interest Rate Hikes

"The numbers don't lie . . . but we do."

'All we can do is hope for identity theft.'

Our Motto: Buy Low Sell High is the Best Revenge.'

'The bank says they're freezing my assets! I don't understand: They've always been frozen...'

"You have to declare what you rob from the rich, but you can deduct what you give to the poor."

'City Traders - The Complete Menagerie'

'The Truth-in-advertising people want us to call ourselves the 'Sluggish Fund Group'.'

Credit Crunch Corn Flakes.

Jumping Wall Street.

'I understand they specialize in acquisitions.'

Paper Profits Break Glass In Case of Emergency.

'If you're out of quarterly earnings, I'll take the assets and liabilities breakdown.'

'Now let's proceed downstairs and see where our stock shares presently sits,'

"At least we're consistent ... "

'Actually, they're a hybrid. They are a blue-chip, common stock.'

'If you must know... I got the ten-million-dollar bonus this year because... instead of losing 15-million-dollars, we could of possibly lost much, much more!'

Out of control

'A temporary solution would be to white out this part of the chart.'

'Our fund lost millions, but the good news is our management fees are not based on performance.'

'Give me something that will restore my faith in Equities . . .'

'I'd recommend against investing in hog futures - what sort of future could a hog have?'

Proud Parent Of A Medical School Student With Huge Debt.

'Credit being what it is, I'm sure you won't mind if we see your 200,000 cattle first...'

'Eureka! I found the gene that causes people to sell low and buy high!'