Finance Humor Lover Pillows

"Oh, I'm really sorry. I just placed three million with some broker who called five minutes ago."

'In here, insider trading has a whole new meaning.'

'The accountants are here to cook the books, Mr. Blight.'

"I say we buy. Hedge fund managers are flying low."

For the last time, Jenkins, it's FTSE.

STRIP Hambone: Strict mortgage rules

'We've decided to foreclose on Paraguay, Ferguson -- Get down there and take the place over.'

'Great cash flow, Phil.'

Financial Adviser has Salesman of the Year Award in Office

'Looks like AIG got here before us!'

'It's a bill collector!'

'Tell you what -- why don't you go watch some TV while I balance your checkbook?'

'...the quake was an aftershock to the latest shift in the prime rate.'

'All these bailouts are silly - why don't they just give everybody their own ATM machines?'

Empty Purses

Can you prescribe something for cash accumulation disorder?

"Im diversifying my portfolio."

Celebrity Accountant

"All I did was shift one lousy decimal point."

'Bernie Madoff is having some trouble behind bars!'

"In the end, they're jut like the other banks!"

American's Funniest Tax Decuctions

'Robbery is just a hobby of mine - I'm actually a city banker!'

'I don't see a way to balance the budget, but I've discovered a way to win the lottery!'

'Waiter, there's a Bank in the soup!'

CEO as Crisis Clown

"I see you've listed as three credit references your three bali bondsmen."

I think I liked it better when it was a building society.

'I don't either have to pay a penalty for early withdrawal!'

Pay Cheque - may contain noughts.

A great investment today is the one you didn't make.

'Of course it tastes terrible! It's for pouring over the heads of investment analysts.'

"We should've gone with Free Credit Report Dot Com."

"The interest rate can't go any lower, so if necessary, we'll have to go back to pounds of flesh."

"Maybe, but robbing Peter to pay Paul is still better than those sub-prime mortgages."